ferrydust

06 September 2006 Wednesday

Not Hamartia

There’s an explicit difference between [initially] intending to do something, and actually trying to do it.

I wrote out a scenario about accomplishing work and not accomplishing it, and about sincere intentions to accomplish it but insufficient effort/will to achieve that. But ..well I just summed it up anyway, so that’s that.

There is also a dramatic difference between a “mistake” and a thoroughly reprehensible (and repugnant and pathetic) act/choice/conscious decision.

As far as I can think and find, there is no term for a “mistake made with full awareness that the act is a mistake”. Why? Because that is absolutely in defiance of the fundamental meaning of a “mistake”. So what’s the word for something you do that you know is a bad choice, or something you know is wrong, or something you know you’ll regret? ... “Idiotic” really is the most likely term that comes to my mind.. Doesn’t seem strong enough, though.

I find this quote to be relevant:

This move may erase the troubles in your head, or expose the absence of your soul.

But the closest/clearest word to replace the misuse of the word “mistake” that comes up if you search your head or the internet, is the word “sin”.

I know sin is essentially supposed to be a strict relgious term, but secularly it… is.. what it is. A sin is an act that is simply/deeply/fundamentally wrong.

In my case, my … sin was.. ...
I was an idiot.

I am deeply, deeply sorry.