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Similarly slated

Excuse me, are you lost? Perhaps you would care to visit the site map

timshel.

Composition

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"Everything counts a little more than we think..."

30 May 2008 Friday

http://ferrydust.com/journal/1887/about-compliments

"Alicson is great!"...but doesn't know what to do if you say so

slated in mused at 10:50 pm

I don’t know why I’m bad with compliments. ‘Someone says something nice, then you smile and say “thank you” and keep up the good work.
I’m pretty fine with complimenting others. And I’m quite good at saying thank you…
But for about as long as I can remember, or at least the past 10+ years, despite thriving on positive reinforcement,
despite being fully deserving (at least some of the time?) praise,
despite often feeling entitled to praise,
when someone compliments me personally or something that I’m doing, I usually just get sort of sheepish and respond with something to the effect of “well it’s not finished…” or “not really” or “it’s just something to do..” or I quickly change the subject or give some other deflective response. And I’m not being disingenuous or insincere, and I do really, really appreciate the praise…

I.. I know it’s something to do with balance, but it might go all the way back to elementary school… playing myself down to bring up others.. But.. that hasn’t been applicable for a really long time. I’m not sure why I still do it.. and I’m noticing it more, but I’m thinking that’s a lot likely because I’m in a 9-5 daily environment where people have lots of room to give small, frequent compliments..
And/But then there’s the personal comments/compliments that are really nice or sweet, and depending on the context/words/person saying them, those can just throw me almost to pieces. I think that’s a bit different, but not completely separate.

This is still truth about nine years later. Except that last line, that's taken somewhat of a turn..
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