word choices really are important.. the nuances of difference in meaning/tone of each word, whether due to definition, or current/cultural interpretation, or other unique/personal imprint,.. semantics and poetry.. all with intention to convey an idea or feeling, or to impose one or the other (or others) upon others. and varying vocabularies, and especially varying contexts, and even sometimes fleeting moods, all affect the message. fundamentally it’s all simply about communication. a comma or alliteration shouldn’t make much difference when it comes to communicating a point.. but it can make every difference of importance significance.
but i’ve forgotten what it was. *sigh*
…
11:13am~ still a.m.!? okay. four hours need to pass right now. and/or someone should show up with a hot rotisseried chicken, and hand it to me with the notice that today is my birthday and i should go home. or something.
so i’m at work. never mind the coldness today and how reluctant i was to ever get out from under the blankets of my bed. i’m here. more or less quite willing and capable to be very productive and useful. except that ms. person-who-i-generally-answer-to isn’t in today.. nor was she in yesterday, nor will be tomorrow. and everyone’s quite busy, but that doesn’t mean that they can use help…sometimes that’s just not possible. and unless i’m to start looking really bored by neatly aligning the different stacks of papers on everyone’s desks, then i’m not really sure what to do right now. i mean, i finished everything she’d left for me yesterday. i’m waiting for one or two calls back on inquiries from yesterday, and there’s two things i can do on thursday, but..besides that… the people i would be helping right now are either terribly wrapped up in this project they have (for which the database is accessible by only one person at a time), or they’re in and out to meetings and don’t even have time to delegate something to me. and furthermore, i figure, if they haven’t assigned it to me, it’s not very urgent or important.. by that i mean, it would be just as dissatisfying (maybe more so) to me for someone to sit and scratch their head for something for me to do.. and then have me do something menial just to keep me busy. humph. what i think i could be doing right now is the contact list compilation (not at all urgent, but something practical, and which i can do well (better than most) without much trouble at all. what else was i going to say… i’m tired today.. sleepyish.. i don’t like that it’s cold again outside. i’m not even going to start on how i feel about the pending cicada invasion. i’ll likely dedicate a post—or ten—to those ugly bunnies later. you know, if i’d just be slower at the stuff they assigned me to do, then this wouldn’t be a problem. humph. since i’m up, and at a computer/with my notebook and pencil and such, i should totally be making use of myself by accomplishing my own stuff. and not merely jotting small bunches of thoughts at a time to create this post. and one wonders why i spent my time answering a blog/email, seemingly unnecessarily. btw, i’d at least be able to answer the phone for these people, if only the phone at my desk accepted incoming calls…. but it doesn’t. and by the time i get up to walk to another desk to fetch the phone, it’s stopped ringing. too bad. *shaking my head at the waste of it all* … okay. got the last three. i’m the best phone answerer ever. perfect etiquette. thorough and neat messages. especially compared to ‘miss’ who usually answers the phone. like an angry wild pig! or something.
just about way enough stalling, neh?
So, where do I want to spend my energy? And before that, what results do I want?
evolution according to the devil… this memnoch book is so very interesting. the horror of unfolding evolution.. from beautiful life is born suffering, pain, brutality. suffering as the point of contention between God and the Devil. i started to share some of the text with my mom and she started telling me i was silly for accepting such absurd theories … .... it’s a fiction book. accept? nothing. fascinated by the concepts and ideas and questions and attempts at answers and possibilities and imagination? quite! i had an early, large dinner by myself just now.. so i’ll be in bed super early tonight. no late and lonely night like last.
i was offered a full time position today at the place i’ve been working at… it’s been two weeks.
i did get to nap today…
reading Memnoch the Devil by Anne Rice. why would you kill/eat something you love? rather than keeping it? ...i’ll get back to Steinbeck’s Grapes of Wrath sooner or later…
song of the moment: Third Eye Blind – ’Deep Inside of You’
drunk people are rather silly…
and i’m missing that which i love.
been going through the whole car-search thing, as a car is pretty much necessary for me now that i’m working in gaithersburg and dad is home and lorense has to get to school and work and such.. mom’s really been helping spearhead it.. i really appreciate that. she’s been very supportive, and i love that when she recognizes a situation, the means and method don’t matter so much as the necessary outcome. she starts from the end, with ”a car is needed for x reasons”, and then does what has to be done to get to that.
’am listening to the Grey Album. it is interesting.
gonna go look at the 1994 camry today.
first day of work.. successfully completed… all is well..
when am i going to have time now(/ever) to work on rasasayang?
there’s other things that must also get done meanwhile, tho.
*feeling like doing the boogy dance* no reason.
gonna go eat colby(crumbly) cheese and crackers(ritz). yum for me, bye for now.
hbe, of course it’s making me cry. people get older and there’s so much sadness.. and families and still so much love and such understanding.
i’m not sure why i’m feeling so tense right now… especially after decisions have been made… but i still feel it.. the tenseness… the on-edgeness… the tiredness.. gosh. maybe i feel a bit bad about one or two things… or might’ve done things a bit differently…(not in terms of final decision, but as to manner in which, and such) .. retrospect; hindsight is always so very sure.
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