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Enduring philosophies and favorite quotes

Watch me rise up and leave all the ashes you made out of me.

Playlist pieces

let it end in flames—let it burn all the way down.

...

People are all puzzles to be figured out.
.... she didn’t realize—now that’s a lot of love.

...

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timshel.

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"Everything counts a little more than we think..."

20 November 2002 Wednesday

x.not much, but someone got yelled at

slated in moments at 11:13 am

i think i was in bed before 5.  i seriously considered and debated with myself this morning, not getting out of bed. that would be.. i wouldn’t get up to take lorense to school. he came over here and woke me up, and i lay in bed and thought, “i don’t really have to get up.. it’ll work out somehow..”  i got up. i took him. i took the recyclables out.  seems mom-mom used to watch seventh heaven.. she may have thought he was talking to her… she snapped at him quick… he tried to talk out of it nicely quick “i mean.. there are other shows you’d want to watch..” but… yea… he got yelled at.

.. mm. now i’m grumpy cuz my hammock background picture got bumped off the page. sad face damnit. there’s no ‘grumpy’ face on this thing. that little blue face looks like the saddest little digital scrawl ever. where’s the ‘yell’, ‘blush’, ‘angel/innocent’, ‘silently fuming’, ‘suspicious’, ‘sleepy’ and all the faces we actually USE in real life?

eh.  okay. done with that.  my bed misses me.

x.it's winter, and stuff

slated in moments at 6:19 am

i got to talk to junhoe tonight.  i miss him much .  daddy comes home tomorrow night.  i was going to sleep early tonight… it would probably have been good for me… but… i just din’t feel it.  gotta wonder about someone who likes to drink when they’re alone, just for fun, cuz they can.  *shrug* plenty of other things to do/think about.  i don’t know quite where i am on things right now.  i’m always okay, of course, and on the broad side, there’s really nothing to be less than smiley-cutsey-voiced pleased about.  but i’m not feeling it so much. even when i’m smiling/laughing about things/excited about the happy trivial.. i’m still not feeling it.  mm.  i have a lot to get done tomorrow.  i’m thinking i should plan a trip to ohio for the beginning of december… i’d kind of like to not be taking the trip alone… tho i certainly won’t be alone once i get there… i did raking today. hands got all cold and stuff and when i came inside, after a lil while they started tingling and then got very hot.  ‘was a bit interesting, and a bit more annoying.  i don’t like very much this dry skin business that the winter brings with it.  in fact, i outrightly detest it.  if there’s one thing i hate most about winter, it’s the dryness that the cold brings with it. 

on a thoroughly other thought… recommended song: ‘Eels’ – Fresh Feeling

“birds singing a song;
 old paint is peeling
 ..this is that fresh, that fresh feeling.
 words can’t be that strong;
 my heart is reeling..
 this is that fresh,
 that fresh feeling.”

‘may as well end on that note.  i’ll go to bed eventually.  “try, try to forget what’s in the past.. tomorrow is here…”

19 November 2002 Tuesday

x.revealed in dark to overwhelm...

slated in prose/poetry, moments at 4:21 am

revealed in dark to overwhelm and drag beyond the quiet realm / absorbed in light of rippled thought within a world that magic sought / essential reason, patience to a truth that is not always true / a peace that is not always calm, entrapped within a fickle palm / a love that grows within a calm encouraged by a gentle palm / and painting ground where risings fall with glittered dreams, slighting strife, we’ll make our ways and triumph all, sipping smiles from sugared life.

goodnight

x.hammock photo

slated in scenery, moments at 2:25 am
Ali and Lor in hammock at Lake George This is my desktop background for the past few weeks.. one of my favoritest pictures with one of my favoritest people. i wanted to put up a happy thought right now. there’s a meteor shower tonight. falling stars… shooting stars… ‘pieces of dust’... perfect trust.

18 November 2002 Monday

slated in moments at 9:54 am

hi. it’s windy out. giant opens at 7, safeway at 6. and back to bed i go.

17 November 2002 Sunday

x.'kiss the girl' is such a good song

slated in moments at 5:50 pm

i’m eating lil squares of finite joy. :-) pleased about it, i am.  and productiveness, here i come…

...or singing disney’s ariel the little mermaid’s kiss the girl song with tread… it is rather happiness…  ...damn you! i have work to do!  singing and typing disney songs is not on the agenda! ::happily singing anyway::

x.day 2 of xanganess

slated in moments at 3:54 am

well, a whole new blog on a whole new day. apparently. the premium xanga features are good… once they throw me over to classic version, tho, i dunno if i’ll be so happy anymore. i don’t like that it’s been raining. not so neceessary in general. i’m thinking of things i want to discuss here… talk out… suggest… but.. there’s not really a good reason for it. but it can’t hurt right? yes, it can, cuz the thoughts won’t be written out completely and certainly won’t encompass all the angles that are necessary to create the whole round picture. and it is round. infinite angles, right? rather than none? if so, then i really do wonder about the day that social telepathy is available or standard. i should other things right now. byebye.

slated in moments at 12:40 am

in observation of the current weather commanded road conditions, i proclaim myself to be warrioringest driver of all. that is all for now.

16 November 2002 Saturday

x.buffy,temple,trust

slated in moments, mused at 9:54 pm

was eating the pizza.. watching random tv… the buffy episode when buffy’s mom joyce has recently died was on… anya finally showed everyone how upset she was… everyone… it was… yes. good episode. mommy should be up from her nap in a bit… we’ve got to leave for the airport soon to fetch mom-mom… the weather’s atrocious… i blame the cold on the people who ordered the cold, and i blame the rain on the people who forgot to ask that there not be rain. and the fact that it’s dark compounded on all that… i’ll let nighttime get away with that one, this time. the tibetan temple was good… lorense and i did the chanting thing together… that was nice… it struck me, as i was sitting there without much else to do but concentrate and meditate and relax (still not so clear on how to make meditation actually work… involves clearing ones’ mind, ultimately… one day maybe it’ll hit me..).. the thing is, asian-type temples or other such things, based in the u.s. or in non-asia… they’re clearly ..asian-attempted but not actual. even without knowing the outside design and structure of the building.. the interior, despite all its asian garments and symbols and pictures and colors and deliberate sounds and smells and objects and such,.. you know you’re not in asia. randomly, lorense is being a good driver. i’m glad. on other things… friendship and trust… it’s not possible to be 100% honest and loyal to more than one person. ever. there will ALWAYS be instances in which there is conflict, and unless … well, i dunno… unless ALL parties share the common trust, there can not be a complete trust between more than two. it’s sad. :sad: what if… no time to set up the scenario right now… there’s a few in mind at any rate.. ‘ll see what comes up when i try to convey the general thought at another time… i’ve still got to write something for mommy before we go… ali out.

x.no really, it's bed time.

slated in moments at 8:18 am

I’M SO SUPER BAD AT THIS. bye!

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