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Enduring philosophies and favorite quotes

If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange apples then you and I will still each have one apple. But…

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You are free as much as you can stand to be; you are free as anything you think that means.

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There’s no fault in loving, no cause for shame;
everyone’s heart does exactly the same
and once you believe that, you’ll learn how to say
I love who I love, who I love.

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"Everything counts a little more than we think..."

15 January 2004 Thursday

slated in moments at 4:06 pm

finally got Pirates of the Caribbean. maybe i’ll get to watch it one day. now no playing. focus.

14 January 2004 Wednesday

slated in mused at 7:39 pm

so i spent a little bit of time today (not a lot of time. just that by the time i finish this entry, the whole thing may qualify for somewhat a lot of time.) skimming a whole bunch of random blogs/web journals, by various people most of whom i don’t know. and the whole thing was part of a general consideration/contemplating about.. well.. who’s supposed to be reading this stuff?  i figure just about every weblogger/journaler muses this a bit… it’s a whole new medium; unique… you can say anything you want, and it might be very private, or very public… it might definitely be seen by hundreds, or only one or two strangers will come across it, or one or two of your closest friends.  and you have some control over that, by where you post the link and who you tell about it to… but really, a lot of the character of the medium is that..much of the time, it can go any which way, any which day, and close concentration could fall on any which entry of yours.. or be overlooked completely.  the interesting things from there, then, are: why do we write? who for?  these are all terribly over-asked questions.  but always just as relevant as it was to every each other person who considers it.  should more people read it? should we write more about what we’re doing? more about what we’re thinking? more about the music we listen to, the books we read, the movies we watch, the authors/leaders/artists who inspire us, the places we’ve been or dream to go, the people we love or wish loved us, the people we think ourselves to be or the people we intend to be…  ultimately it always comes back to an ego-feed. from the first time you ever read aloud your written journal to someone, or click ‘send’ to post your page/entry online.. like a kid holding up the drawing he made, or saying ‘watch what i can do’. well this is fall very uninsightful. really, pretty much every action and advancement and effort is an ego-feed. it’s human survival. and feeding others’ egos? coexisting? somehow feeding back on one’s own? maybe. if the goals of life are to preserve itself, then by design/nature it would like be interested with promoting itself as well. preservation, promotion. so where does experience come into play in that? ... offhandedly, i’ll venture ‘self-justification’. life is made worthwhile through the gleaned and gathered experiences that can be offered to oneself or to others as a self-justification for one’s existence. which is, again, personal ego-feeding. again promotion. and back to preservation. seems to have the potential enough to keep any one person busy for a few thousand lifetimes.

slated in quotes at 6:14 pm

“it’s easy to turn your back.. but not always so easy to forget.”
“you can never forget what you’ve done. but we adapt. we move on.”
“i still believe in paradise. but now at least i know it’s not some place you can look for. because it’s not where you go, it’s how you feel for a moment in your life when you’re part of something.”

slated in moments at 5:09 pm

okay. i’m fed. talked with mom for a while over lunch/breakfast. feng-shui. overpowering buddhas. passing one’s fate onto another. encouraged success. choice of location for studying. back to work now.

slated in moments at 3:58 pm

definitely deserving the trouble i’m definitely in. feeling sorry. not knowing what to do about any of it now. needing chocolate chip cookies. needing to finish my other work so i can spend time where time really should be spent. need breakfast.

slated in moments at 3:31 pm

no. i’m sorry; as usual. but i think at this point i’m inclined to know that there really are some things that can’t be “fixed”.  i guess everything can be made better, one way or another. but it’s almost always at the sacrifice of something else.

another thing.. it’s always soooo exhilarating to be waiting for pending confrontation/scolding. love it. i get to sit here, and go about my day…or days.. and lie/sit in bed, under or over covers.. or dally in the shower.. or zone out at the window.. waiting for the impending chiding/scolding/yelling/crying whatever it will be. “alicson, you’re in trouble. i’ll talk to you later.”  love it. love itloveitloveit.

currently listening to: Kelly Clarkson – The Trouble With Love Is

“…it’s stronger than your pride..    ..now my love’s a deeper blue.. i’m sadder but i’m wiser too…   the trouble with love is.. it’s in your heart.. it’s in your soul..

i need breakfast.

slated in moments at 3:04 pm

i guess some things can’t really be fixed. only lived with.

slated in moments at 1:17 pm

i dreamt of living in australia… things were kind of spread out, i guess… but most things tended to look new, i think.

    at one point, i suppose i was wandering around on my own for whatever reason… faintly heard a young boy calling for help… i looked all around.. i was in a semi spread-out/new neighborhood… i finally spotted the boy in a tree… he was hanging on a branch by both his hands.. actually, though, he wasn’t far from the ground.. but i ran over… now i’m fuzzy… i think he jumped down.. but the result and reaction that follows suggests that he fell or was otherwise hurt/upset… he had been calling for help so loud and urgently… maybe that’s why i was surprised to glance over at his house, just a couple meters from the tree, and see his mother (and sister)? through the (porch?) window.. just sitting, doing their own thing, as if nothing were happening outside. they weren’t closed windows, btw… maybe with a screen on them or something. anyway, i guess my resulting impression of australia was that it’s a comparitively laid-back place.

    something about dogs/puppies… spaniels, seemingly..

    intention to move over there, so i guess we were scouting the area…

    ended with a supermarket and my mother was there and she ended talking with this young woman, i guess about my age or thereabout.. who had a very young baby.. my mother asker the girl if she was the mother of the baby.. i didn’t hear the response..ultimately my impression was that she was… but my mom called over to me, and asked me, “are you good with babies?” or something.. i guess we decided affirmative… apparently the baby needed burping and i guess they had been unsuccessful.. i guess.. the baby was cute.. fragile… i took her and held her.. i’ve never burped a baby.. wasn’t sure at what pace to pat the baby’s back.. did it quite lightly..i guess i did it right… gave him/her.. her, i think.. back to her mother… it was an interesting experience.

13 January 2004 Tuesday

slated in moments at 11:14 pm

i think i’m either trying to make up for all the entries i’ve not written in the past many months/years… or i’m trying to cram a whole bunch in so i may feel excused from all the entries i’ll not write in the future.


parents are watching west wing. without me. they skipped me two eps already, so i’m skipping them now. <sigh> what a good show. i’ll rewatch the dvd set sometime; it was his show to begin with, after all. and then there’s two seasons of alias to watch, and four or five-and-a-half seasons of la femme nikita… and i want to get the a will of their own dvd.. oh, and there’s the shogun series.. and…. maybe indiana jones set, and i’d like to watch/rewatch the whole set of the practice at some point. oh, and scrubs is pretty necessary. what am i missing..? i think that’s most of it. enough to keep me busy for a few years anyway. speaking of which, the ‘by 2007’ list is overdue for review. maybe tomrorow?


i overheat my comp so much and often.  poor babybb. 


almost done with papers. thank goodnessness. still a bit more to do than i’d like, but there’s an end to all of it.  bloody good then. 


currently listening to: Yannick – Ces Soir�es La (cover on December 1963 (Oh, What a Night!))
but been listening to: O-Town – From The Damage



“..streaming voices likes a hurricane..they’re telling me to wake up; get out of bed; put your feet on the floor—there’s fresh air out the door.


i’m ready; i’m willing to do anything to make it up to you… ‘wishing that i could have known: you just can’t walk away from the damage.


my eyes may as well be blind if i just can’t see you. my hands may as well be tied if i just can’t touch you..


before the smoke can really clear away from fires i started yesterday, i know i’ve got to find away..somehow..to wake up from the damage.”

slated in moments at 9:42 pm

2004-01-12 18:42:13

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