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Enduring philosophies and favorite quotes

“He will if he wants to. And if he doesn’t then he doesn’t and then what does it even matter.”

Playlist pieces

this mark on me is permanent,
like all the things that come like that

...

The first star I see, may not be a star.
And the time, such clumsy time, deciding if it’s time..
You can lose yourself in your courage.

...

Recent comments

Excuse me, are you lost? Perhaps you would care to visit the site map

timshel.

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Syndication is available in RSS and Atom flavors. Flavors like ice cream. Ice cream like happiness.

"Everything counts a little more than we think..."

18 November 2002 Monday

x.dream: konstantine

slated in dreams at 4:47 pm

unusual, in-depth dream..  something about a school… a place… a guy… a girl… there were lots of other people too..and at least one other significant girl, i think… but it comes down to them….. the girl being as or more attractive and a bit more edgy than lana lane in smallville (i know. wow. wink face), and the guy being alright but a lil soft in character… and… and something to do with being at a sports event… and walking around the back of the bleachers or soemthing… this was all nighttime, i’m pretty sure.. and something with going for a walk… something to do with a carnival or something..or a club… and then communicating online and trying to ditch the guy decently after interfering with the girl who for some reason has interest in this guy who clearly did really have interest in her before… and by trying to ditch the guy, talking to friends online while he’s there… and when he looked away, typing something like “he’s here.. come save me…” and closing the window really fast.. but that wasn’t it… it was typoed and the typo made sense verbally, so had to retype and send again quick before he came back.” and mild other thinkings around this plot that i don’t specifically recall but remember them being. ...and as waking up (was awake but not done waking) had the line playing over in my head “this is to a girl who got into my head with all the pretty things she did.. you know.. you keep me up in bed.. this is to a girl who got into my head with all the fucked up things i did ..maybe ..maybe you could keep me up in bed” (konstantine)... what exactly specifically does that verse mean anyway?  the day got sunny. this morning was not pretty. now it is. i approve.  whoever placed the order on the day, right now is looking good; well done.  and i happen to know that there are some absurdly perfect brownies downstairs… breakfast time. wink face

slated in moments at 9:54 am

hi. it’s windy out. giant opens at 7, safeway at 6. and back to bed i go.

17 November 2002 Sunday

x.i'm a martini

slated in stuff at 7:19 pm

eh. we all know working is overrated anyway.

CONGRATS!
You’re a MARTINI!
Rich, and refined you’re smooth and saucy.
You’re the butter on the bread, the lube on the hinge, the teflon on the pan.

...okay.. i’m a Martini…
what’s your ALcoHoLiC personality!

x.'kiss the girl' is such a good song

slated in moments at 5:50 pm

i’m eating lil squares of finite joy. :-) pleased about it, i am.  and productiveness, here i come…

...or singing disney’s ariel the little mermaid’s kiss the girl song with tread… it is rather happiness…  ...damn you! i have work to do!  singing and typing disney songs is not on the agenda! ::happily singing anyway::

x.evil link; upbeat self-portrayal

slated in stuff, mused at 4:28 pm

my “friend” sent me this yesterday: http://68.48.112.208:56789/images/SajjadAli.swf.  i…  it hurt my tummy. nothing does that… except food on the inside… and maybe if things are thrown at it with some velocity..  this site hurt my tummy.  :-(  check it out if you dare.  it occurs to me that my xanga site seems quite happy.  i’ve always wondered how to feel about… about coming across all upbeat and happy and stuff…. i guess it’s good… it just doesn’t feel so… me.  i’m not a downbeat person by nature…. but i dunno about the portrayal of constant fun-moodedness and such… and i’m annoyed that i’m trying to explain this even to begin with, since my whole point is pretty much that friends will recognize me as not really the happy zany person by character… tho there’s zanyness in plenty at times, i concede…  pffft to all this.  i’m going to go search for some chocolate chip cookies or something reasonable, rather than try to explain nonsenseness with ehness.

x.day 2 of xanganess

slated in moments at 3:54 am

well, a whole new blog on a whole new day. apparently. the premium xanga features are good… once they throw me over to classic version, tho, i dunno if i’ll be so happy anymore. i don’t like that it’s been raining. not so neceessary in general. i’m thinking of things i want to discuss here… talk out… suggest… but.. there’s not really a good reason for it. but it can’t hurt right? yes, it can, cuz the thoughts won’t be written out completely and certainly won’t encompass all the angles that are necessary to create the whole round picture. and it is round. infinite angles, right? rather than none? if so, then i really do wonder about the day that social telepathy is available or standard. i should other things right now. byebye.

x.songs of the moment

slated in stuff at 2:26 am

song of the moment: john mayer – ‘back to you (acoustic); must listen: something corporate – ‘konstantine’ —> reference to: jimmy eat world – ‘for me this is heaven’. should have: jesse cook – ‘virtue’.

Playlist 11/17/2002

slated in playlists at 2:06 am

John Mayer – Back to You (acoustic)
Something Corporate – Konstantine
Jimmy Eat World – For Me This Is Heaven
Jesse Cook – Virtue

via xanga post

x.indians aren't asian

slated in stuff at 1:40 am
alicson: create a xanga site.
alicson: i require more non-asians on this thing.
alicson: that means you.
alicson: you and your pasi.
alicson: passe
NDN: i am asian!
alicson: posse.
alicson: yay ;-)
alicson: you are NOT asian!
alicson: you are indian!
alicson: in-di-an.
alicson: as-i-an
alicson: NOT the same!
NDN: indian is mynation heritage
NDN: asian is my continental heritage
alicson: you lie.
NDN: Main Entry: 1Asian
Pronunciation: ‘A-zh&n also -sh&n
Function: adjective
Date: 1550
: of, relating to, or characteristic of the continent of Asia or its people
alicson: you’re a wannabe.
NDN: india
alicson: india is a subcontinent
NDN: is in asia
alicson: they only lump it with asia cuz no one wants to count india by itself
alicson: so we throw it in with asia to make it feel better about itself
alicson: as if it counted for something.
alicson: trust me. you’re not asian.
NDN: asians are not just slanty-eyed people!!
alicson: yes they are!!!

x.thoughts in my head~

slated in mused at 12:59 am

i like looking at my xanga site. it has pretty colors. :happy: i think good when i’m sitting in a moving car without obligation to talking to anyone. good, clear, symphonious thoughts… whole precise and perfect conversations carried out and actions flawlessly executed… but of course there’s no tape recorder. and would there were, the thoughts are complete in my head cuz of all the millions of other backgroundnesses and the illustrations of other thoughts to color it and all that other…. until the whole mind-reading / social-telepathy thing gets figured out in the whole scheme of human evolution… the perfect thoughts will remain so only in head. can’t even get those all down in an absolutely personal journal…. those words are only the framework of what is all in mind. half-eaten apple’s feeling neglected.

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