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Enduring philosophies and favorite quotes

Deception like this is just one step removed from actively sabotaging one another.


Playlist pieces

"To dream the impossible dream, To fight the unbeatable foe, To bear with unbearable sorrow, To run where the brave dare not go.


after all the hurt we left on the side is out, were we just passing time?


Recent comments

Excuse me, are you lost? Perhaps you would care to visit the site map



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"Everything counts a little more than we think..."

20 November 2002 Wednesday

x.personality: idealist, mastermind

slated in stuff at 10:30 am

All Idealists (NFs) share the following core characteristics:

  • Idealists are enthusiastic, they trust their intuition, yearn for romance, seek their true self, prize meaningful relationships, and dream of attaining wisdom.
  • Idealists pride themselves on being loving, kindhearted, and authentic.
  • Idealists tend to be giving, trusting, spiritual, and they are focused on personal journeys and human potentials.
  • Idealists make intense mates, nurturing parents, and inspirational leaders.

Idealists, as a temperament, are passionately concerned with personal growth and development. Idealists strive to discover who they are and how they can become their best possible self--always this quest for self-knowledge and self-improvement drives their imagination. And they want to help others make the journey. Idealists are naturally drawn to working with people, and whether in education or counseling, in social services or personnel work, in journalism or the ministry, they are gifted at helping others find their way in life, often inspiring them to grow as individuals and to fulfill their potentials.

Idealists are rare, making up no more than 8 to 10 percent of the population. But their ability to inspire people with their enthusiasm and their idealism has given them influence far beyond their numbers.

The four types of Idealists are:

Healers (INFP) | Counselors (INFJ) | Champions (ENFP) | Teachers (ENFJ)

Discover your personality at http://www.advisorteam.com/user/ktsintro.asp

thespark.com personality test: (i've turned up EXPERIMENTER twice in my life... the 5+ other times i've taken it: mastermind. yes. i've taken it much.. i like the result to be consistent...)


( Submissive Introverted Abstract Thinker )

You are a MASTERMIND (SIAT). You can be silent and withdrawn, but behind your reserved exterior lies an active mind that allows you to analyze situations and come up with creative, unexpected solutions. Normal people call this ?scheming.? Don?t learn German.

Anyway, your sense of style and originality are your strengths, and people will respect your judgment once they get to know you. If you learn to be a little more personable, you could be a great leader--you?ve definitely got the ?vision? thing down. Just make sure all the plotting you do behind those eyes of yours is healthy.

Famous masterminds in television: Dr. Claw, The Scarecrow and Mrs. King, and Montgomery Burns.

x.it's winter, and stuff

slated in moments at 6:19 am

i got to talk to junhoe tonight.  i miss him much .  daddy comes home tomorrow night.  i was going to sleep early tonight… it would probably have been good for me… but… i just din’t feel it.  gotta wonder about someone who likes to drink when they’re alone, just for fun, cuz they can.  *shrug* plenty of other things to do/think about.  i don’t know quite where i am on things right now.  i’m always okay, of course, and on the broad side, there’s really nothing to be less than smiley-cutsey-voiced pleased about.  but i’m not feeling it so much. even when i’m smiling/laughing about things/excited about the happy trivial.. i’m still not feeling it.  mm.  i have a lot to get done tomorrow.  i’m thinking i should plan a trip to ohio for the beginning of december… i’d kind of like to not be taking the trip alone… tho i certainly won’t be alone once i get there… i did raking today. hands got all cold and stuff and when i came inside, after a lil while they started tingling and then got very hot.  ‘was a bit interesting, and a bit more annoying.  i don’t like very much this dry skin business that the winter brings with it.  in fact, i outrightly detest it.  if there’s one thing i hate most about winter, it’s the dryness that the cold brings with it. 

on a thoroughly other thought… recommended song: ‘Eels’ – Fresh Feeling

“birds singing a song;
 old paint is peeling
 ..this is that fresh, that fresh feeling.
 words can’t be that strong;
 my heart is reeling..
 this is that fresh,
 that fresh feeling.”

‘may as well end on that note.  i’ll go to bed eventually.  “try, try to forget what’s in the past.. tomorrow is here…”

19 November 2002 Tuesday

x.dream: ma-ma in malaysia

slated in dreams at 4:03 pm

dream must’ve been in malaysia… was at grandparents old house only it was a different house… based on the old estate grandfather owns… much more elaborate… aunty cheng and ee-ee were clearly there… something about a lot of bathrooms/washroom areas… grandmother was in a tub that was more or less a basin which is more or less normal for malaysian bathing… except that normally you don’t actually sit in it…  grandmother, ma-ma, (passed away just a few weeks ago) was checking the bottom of one of her feet for something… she was paying much attention to that…. ended up outside… something about selling the whole property… as one piece… not dividing it after having given much consideration (grandfather, kong-kong) but the property being so huge… and i considering that it would be so useful if it were back in the u.s…. though even in malaysia, the land could be worth so many things… but such a large piece… and something about oil pipes on the border of the property.. and moving bricks and dirt to look for ‘overlaid pipes’ or something about that… some other people… i dunno.  this morning taking lor to school… kit wa mai sabai… yuen kuen: see daam.. mai dee.

who saw the meteor shower? http://www.weather.com/newscenter/topstories/021118meteorshower.html

x.revealed in dark to overwhelm...

slated in prose/poetry, moments at 4:21 am

revealed in dark to overwhelm and drag beyond the quiet realm / absorbed in light of rippled thought within a world that magic sought / essential reason, patience to a truth that is not always true / a peace that is not always calm, entrapped within a fickle palm / a love that grows within a calm encouraged by a gentle palm / and painting ground where risings fall with glittered dreams, slighting strife, we’ll make our ways and triumph all, sipping smiles from sugared life.


x.hammock photo

slated in scenery, moments at 2:25 am
Ali and Lor in hammock at Lake George This is my desktop background for the past few weeks.. one of my favoritest pictures with one of my favoritest people. i wanted to put up a happy thought right now. there’s a meteor shower tonight. falling stars… shooting stars… ‘pieces of dust’... perfect trust.

18 November 2002 Monday

x.belief system selector

slated in stuff at 7:54 pm
According to the SelectSmart.com Belief System Selector, my #1 belief matches are Neo-Pagan and Universal Unitarianism.
What do you believe?

Visit SelectSmart.com/RELIGION
My Results 1st Time Around:

1.  Neo-Pagan (100%)
2.  New Age (95%)
3.  Unitarian Universalism (95%)
4.  New Thought (75%)
5.  Mahayana Buddhism (74%)
6.  Liberal Quakers (69%)
7.  Theravada Buddhism (60%)
8.  Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (60%)
9.  Scientology (58%)
10.  Hinduism (56%)
11.  Secular Humanism (56%)
12.  Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (39%)
13.  Nontheist (37%)
14.  Reform Judaism (37%)
15.  Taoism (37%)
16.  Jainism (29%)
17.  Sikhism (21%)
18.  Orthodox Judaism (17%)
19.  Bah�'� Faith (12%)
20.  Orthodox Quaker (12%)
21.  Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (4%)
22.  Eastern Orthodox (4%)
23.  Islam (4%)
24.  Jehovah's Witness (4%)
25.  Roman Catholic (4%)
26.  Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (3%)
27.  Seventh Day Adventist (2%)
My Results 2nd Time Around:

1.  Unitarian Universalism (100%)
2.  Theravada Buddhism (97%)
3.  Mahayana Buddhism (94%)
4.  New Age (86%)
5.  Liberal Quakers (82%)
6.  Hinduism (80%)
7.  New Thought (80%)
8.  Neo-Pagan (78%)
9.  Taoism (69%)
10.  Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (65%)
11.  Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (64%)
12.  CScientology (64%)
13.  Jainism (62%)
14.  Sikhism (56%)
15.  Secular Humanism (50%)
16.  Nontheist (43%)
17.  Orthodox Quaker (43%)
18.  Reform Judaism (42%)
19.  Bah�'� Faith (37%)
20.  Orthodox Judaism (31%)
21.  Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (27%)
22.  Islam (25%)
23.  Seventh Day Adventist (25%)
24.  Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (21%)
25.  Eastern Orthodox (14%)
26.  Jehovah's Witness (14%)
27.  Roman Catholic (14%)


slated in stuff at 7:11 pm

i’m not sure at all how i got here… http://www.xanga.com/BobsLeftNut ..but uh… err?

x.dream: konstantine

slated in dreams at 4:47 pm

unusual, in-depth dream..  something about a school… a place… a guy… a girl… there were lots of other people too..and at least one other significant girl, i think… but it comes down to them….. the girl being as or more attractive and a bit more edgy than lana lane in smallville (i know. wow. wink face), and the guy being alright but a lil soft in character… and… and something to do with being at a sports event… and walking around the back of the bleachers or soemthing… this was all nighttime, i’m pretty sure.. and something with going for a walk… something to do with a carnival or something..or a club… and then communicating online and trying to ditch the guy decently after interfering with the girl who for some reason has interest in this guy who clearly did really have interest in her before… and by trying to ditch the guy, talking to friends online while he’s there… and when he looked away, typing something like “he’s here.. come save me…” and closing the window really fast.. but that wasn’t it… it was typoed and the typo made sense verbally, so had to retype and send again quick before he came back.” and mild other thinkings around this plot that i don’t specifically recall but remember them being. ...and as waking up (was awake but not done waking) had the line playing over in my head “this is to a girl who got into my head with all the pretty things she did.. you know.. you keep me up in bed.. this is to a girl who got into my head with all the fucked up things i did ..maybe ..maybe you could keep me up in bed” (konstantine)... what exactly specifically does that verse mean anyway?  the day got sunny. this morning was not pretty. now it is. i approve.  whoever placed the order on the day, right now is looking good; well done.  and i happen to know that there are some absurdly perfect brownies downstairs… breakfast time. wink face

slated in moments at 9:54 am

hi. it’s windy out. giant opens at 7, safeway at 6. and back to bed i go.

17 November 2002 Sunday

x.i'm a martini

slated in stuff at 7:19 pm

eh. we all know working is overrated anyway.

You’re a MARTINI!
Rich, and refined you’re smooth and saucy.
You’re the butter on the bread, the lube on the hinge, the teflon on the pan.

...okay.. i’m a Martini…
what’s your ALcoHoLiC personality!

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