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Playlist pieces

Still I would want to be someone who’d answer to me:
Someone who sees like a child, gives like a saint,
feels like an angel — never mind the broken wings,
and speaks like a picture, cries like the rain, shines like a star,
as long as the fire remains.

...

I guess I only knew one angle of your face..
I bared my throat and my wrists, then you come at me with this.

...
Sam Grant - Not Fine

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Excuse me, are you lost? Perhaps you would care to visit the site map

timshel.

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"Everything counts a little more than we think..."

17 November 2002 Sunday

slated in moments at 12:40 am

in observation of the current weather commanded road conditions, i proclaim myself to be warrioringest driver of all. that is all for now.

16 November 2002 Saturday

x.sustaining power

slated in mused at 10:43 pm

excerpt from tread’s page: ”...let’s be honest. Isn’t the best system of governance inherently one with a strong center of power? It’s more effective, at least. Look at the Roman Empire! Look at Alexander! Peter the Great! Napoleon! .. Individuals with power. .. I guess the fundamental problem with Alexander and the rest is what happens when they die. Central Power like that rests on the individual. Not everyone can be a Caesar.”  known to be my sentiment as well, much so. unpopular sentiment at that… but we know it’s the best true way… so… the individuals who were excellent with that power, upon death or other overthrowal thus lose that position and the position falls corrupted or weakened to the lesser hands that successively control it…  yes. that’s bad.  very bad.

so fix it.  figure out the way to sustain power beyond death or to effectively maintain the successful leadership either by having the worthwhile leader never die and never fail in his/her excellence, or by having that power transferred to an equally effective person/center.  if someone can just figure out the answer to this problem… then the rightful people can confidentally move forward with solving all other humanity’s and society’s issues.

on another note… i think it’s much cute how mother was like “we’re late we’re late!” (to go pick up grandmother from airport) and then she had me check the flight status online, and found taht flight will arrive twenty minutes late… so, suddenly, we’re not going anywhere. we’re sitting and chilling and i had time to write this whole entry… and in another few minutes she’ll be screaming “we’re late!” again.  i love that woman.  good thing, that.  ;-)

x.why blog, anyway?

slated in mused at 10:00 pm

eh. while i’m still here… as it’s still the “first day” of my weblogging (rather scary… i dunno if i’ll keep to this…).. i thought i might make this statement right about.. now… i don’t trust weblogging. not for myself. how the bloody heck am i sposed to be open and honest about what’s going on in my life, consistently, to something that might or might not be but could be and may be and eventually might and later could be read by someone or another who i know or don’t know who i do or don’t or might or would or really wouldn’t want reading about specific or general or some or all of the stuff in my head/life? and of course no one (most no one) would write about everything going on in their head and life… and stuff and stuff… but… names.. events… this and that and everything… it’s just in general… i don’t like the “i can’t say this cuz…” or “let’s just talk about this instead of that…”… if it’s a journal, let what be in mind, be said… if it’s a public posting… then…. mm… *shrug* maybe i need a mission statement. what’s the point of an ali weblog at this juncture (:tongueface:)… well… i’m thinking there is one good reason for me to be doing this…. ali weblog mission: procrastination (on an even grosser scale than even before was thought reasonably successable).

x.buffy,temple,trust

slated in moments, mused at 9:54 pm

was eating the pizza.. watching random tv… the buffy episode when buffy’s mom joyce has recently died was on… anya finally showed everyone how upset she was… everyone… it was… yes. good episode. mommy should be up from her nap in a bit… we’ve got to leave for the airport soon to fetch mom-mom… the weather’s atrocious… i blame the cold on the people who ordered the cold, and i blame the rain on the people who forgot to ask that there not be rain. and the fact that it’s dark compounded on all that… i’ll let nighttime get away with that one, this time. the tibetan temple was good… lorense and i did the chanting thing together… that was nice… it struck me, as i was sitting there without much else to do but concentrate and meditate and relax (still not so clear on how to make meditation actually work… involves clearing ones’ mind, ultimately… one day maybe it’ll hit me..).. the thing is, asian-type temples or other such things, based in the u.s. or in non-asia… they’re clearly ..asian-attempted but not actual. even without knowing the outside design and structure of the building.. the interior, despite all its asian garments and symbols and pictures and colors and deliberate sounds and smells and objects and such,.. you know you’re not in asia. randomly, lorense is being a good driver. i’m glad. on other things… friendship and trust… it’s not possible to be 100% honest and loyal to more than one person. ever. there will ALWAYS be instances in which there is conflict, and unless … well, i dunno… unless ALL parties share the common trust, there can not be a complete trust between more than two. it’s sad. :sad: what if… no time to set up the scenario right now… there’s a few in mind at any rate.. ‘ll see what comes up when i try to convey the general thought at another time… i’ve still got to write something for mommy before we go… ali out.

x.blogs and quiz things go hand in hand

slated in stuff at 9:14 pm

here’s a thing with blogs, seemingly… it’s these “what kind of ___ are you” quizzes… that are so absurd, but so quick and more or less in their own way fun, that you end up actually doing them and then you gotta share the results cuz that’s what it’s about in the firstplace…  here’s a mass of results: (sad that there’s even more than one.. yes.)


what sign of affection are you?



and in case you were wondering what number i am…

according to this quiz, i’m a 2.  i…. okay.  pizza’s ready. :) i’ll back later.

x.no really, it's bed time.

slated in moments at 8:18 am

I’M SO SUPER BAD AT THIS. bye!

x.time for bed

slated in moments at 7:39 am

i am SO bad at this going-to-sleep thing… and the smileys choices on this thing are severely terribly limited. that makes me grumpy. i still don’t see why xanga has to be an asian thing. where’s all the round-eyed peoples at? eh. i really do intend to go to bed now. it seems like a reasonable thing to do… wish me luck..

x.always restless at the start

slated in moments, stuff at 6:31 am


i didn’t sleep yet. i’ve been dallying (it’s the patented ali thing to do).. here’s what i want to know: why are all xanga people asian?? there are more asian people using xanga than there are in… asia… no..that’s not quite right… but there’s a WHOLE lot of asian people using it… factly, i’ve not seen any non-asians on xanga yet… <strong>looking for non-asian xangans</strong> ..no luck.. still looking…  amongst the dallying, i’ve been found to be both:

{once upon a time there was an image here} a tart
and
{another image, too, was here} a strawberry shortcake.


i would’ve rather been a chocolate chip cookie.  at any rate… it’s friggin 3:30am now, and lor will be up in two and a half hours, and i should get up with him… and then up again to leave house by 9ish.. which i guess isn’t too bad.. but would be better if i’d been sleeping four hours ago… when.. people… told me to… oh well!  sleeptime now.  can’t keep up the chipperness without sufficient sleeptedness. ;-) nightnight.

x.in the beginning, there was xanga

slated in moments, site-building at 5:40 am

i dunno where to start. there are too many buttons and lil pictures and edits you can add to this thing… makes me confuseded and takes too much time. must resist the lil buttons… so… i’m not going to bed right now, cuz i was explicitly told to. must wake up in about four hours to go to tibetan temple with mommy… been going to a different temple every weekend for past several weeks.. will continue… in respect of grandmother’s recent passing… mother was in malaysia for that… her whole family was around her as she passed… was good… i wasn’t there, but was important that my mommy was…. lorense has varsity basketball practice tomorrow morning from 7-11am… he made the team this afternoon… :) daddy’s in asia right now… he’ll be there for another few weeks… grandmother (his mommy) will be arriving from florida tomorrow evening… ‘was gonna see harry potter movie tomorrow eve… dunno if that’ll happen now… aip. that bed’s looking comfy without me in it… much to still be done, particularly in this month… time is almost up for this particularly floatish semester… ‘sbeen good.. i haven’t done so much with it in the way of work, but i’m pretty sure i rigged it that way… been a wacky past year… wacky past several years… good gracious… and only more will come… heh. i like that much. i concede. to bed i’ll go..

01 November 2002 Friday

perpetually patronizing the pieces of my life

slated in prose/poetry, mused at 6:48 pm

i find myself perpetually patronizing the pieces of my life… those pieces that i am not interested in keeping, but have been slotted in my path for color, i suppose. and then it rains… before or after i miss the sun that i know is promised to me. how lonely is a star? so far from other vibrant orbs, so surrounded by big rocks…that are so comparably small, but eat so much light. but if i can still hear my voice, then the mood of my scenes are bound to my themes… and my music always moves me.

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