I wtf your wtf
I think you’re fishing for mountains in a sea of molehills.
replacing pants with even better ones before meeting the bros is magical enough for me.
I don’t give a flip about tradition but I’ll be damned if I sour my palate to please the kimchi.
“It’s like a babushka doll of procrastination.”
Why are you sad?? you’re dumb!
— I guaran-god-damn-dee you.
I can win at comic books.
“I love you so much my heart just invaded my left lung to make room.”
your facebook says you like merlot but your tumblr says you like malbec. Should I bring both or was there a typo?
my love for seth and andy is real. it relocates mountains and pays parking tickets.
Babies are touch-sensitive — like an ipod.
steinbeck named his truck
made me think of you
fortunately he has plenty of other qualities to make up for it
Ick ick ick, and get pizza!
Don’t think. Hug.
When life gives you lameness, you gotta make lamenade.
Mashed potatoes are better than vodka: after too much mashed potatoes, you can still drink vodka.
your hair looks black. Maybe your parents should have used web safe colors. :P
I wouldn’t want to live in a world without spellcheck.
I’m at 2000 points 18 hours ago, I’m at 95 two hours ago, and I’m at 495 now. I need a beer.