me: did you just invite me into your bed?
me: you haven’t bought me drinks or anything
bxx: but i have cable!
axx: i got the “i have a new job, so i am too busy for a relationship”
are you 10?
“Do I get any credit for not being as much of a jerk as usual? By relative measure, thats almost like being NICE.”
sneaky spam email that wants to eat my emails and deceptively deciptivize everyone
“You’re like a good book…”
Me: Why is the pinky still alive?
PC: My snake isn’t hungry.
Me: Where is your snake?
PC: Under the rock.
Me: No he’s not.
“…you’d drink it and start jumping up and down singing Hit Me Up and then lie down and say Oh-Oh and I’d be like Oh-No….”
That is exactly what would happen.
“My mom joked that she wanted a Movado watch. She joked, but she looked serious about it.”
“It’s a walking RSS feed? ….that you can squeeze?”
How is it that the year is almost over, but it’s still only Tuesday?
“Actually, ferrydust.com might be the girliest-looking thing you own.”
I want to jump ON it! I wanna hop on it!
George Will hates us, we must be alright.
and fish is delicious
I have a resilient tushy.
instead of epic items, I save something I love
foobar is my precious
i met a guy
you’d fall inlove with
he’s jsut lke me
It wasn’t widdle. It was big and it flew.
Basically Chinese people are Borg. We assimilate everything.