“For the record I’m not entirely sure that I’m not the universe.”
“I hear I make some pretty yummy ramen…”
“I smiled and my cheeks hung up on you”
“The dollar signs are in my eyes. When I blink, they shine.”
“we could have killed him at least 30 min earlier if some little girl decided sleep was more important than harassing a grown man playing a childish game.”
i feel like i’m walking around with ferrydust on my shirt.
I said, “I need to read Voltaire.” He yelled, “I already read Voltaire now come to bed!” I “O_o”ed. I still need to read Voltaire.
A: Have you been to Restaurant X? Is it good?
D: It’s fair. I didn’t fall out of my seat or anything, but it was decent.
A: At what place have you fallen out of your seat? Due to its goodness?
D: Cluck U’s, but I was pushed.
easy on the cookies. you r looking more n more prosperous
Let’s designate Wednesdays as “New fridge days!” and hope the kitchen appliance manufacturers jumps on.
“[L] was fine with it.
but [K] was more of the why bother?
and I was the this really is kinda sad.
[A] was TITS”
“I committed social suicide in kindergarten.”
“You might be too mixed.”
“I don’t care about her. She’s a slut.”
“This is wrong from more angles than a fractal polygon”
“and and? I got to use the word emasculate before 10am”
“Maybe you need more pockets in your dresses.”
why is it so hard to get answers outofyou, woman?
I wtf your wtf
replacing pants with even better ones before meeting the bros is magical enough for me.