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Random Ridiculi

Stock up on carrots, because one day rabbits may rule the earth, and you'll have bargaining power. ...

...[more]

Enduring philosophies and favorite quotes

“Maybe doing nothing’s better than doing this.”

Excuse me, are you lost? Perhaps you would care to visit the site map

thou mayest.


Top Ridiculi

lek , tread , media , ndn , yw , mk , broccoli , other , nostaw , bl , es , chong , sky , a , kyoto , pc , r , mdn , gai , k , smad , h , v , tab , at , beb , ae , au , d


Words Slates

"He who forgets, will be destined to remember..."

don’t befriend anything you can get for sixty cents, be smart and get the king size.

~ Joe 14Apr04 #link comment

I have things. They are mine, not yours. My refrigerator is the superior one.

~ Joe 13Apr04 #link comment

“commie latte drinking bastards…and they skimp on the whipped cream too. i asked, ‘can i have more cream?’ they said no. i asked, ‘would you give me more cream if my name were charlie’ they said no. i said, ‘charlie will hear about this’ and left.”

~ Joe #link comment

Please, I implore you to tell me… just how is the toast?

~ Joe #link comment

I got a decoder ring in my cereal so y’all better watch out because now it’s decoding time. Yes.

~ Joe #link comment

That kid in the 80’s show Silver Spoons was cool. Let’s all think how cool he was and then remember. Breath in. Breath out. Now set something on fire that’s not yours. Bliss.

~ Joe #link comment

Yumxxx (8:02:22 PM): for god sakes, pick a screen name already. either you are alicson, or alicson13. in any case, you are not alicson13. you are alicson2. 2 is the number of the counting after one. you hear me. if you do not wish to count alicson, you may be alicson1. other than that, all numbers are outright and therefore not permitted. so pick a friggin screen name and stop taking up an extra line on my online buddy list. you can only have one line at a time mmkay. i still love you though, but i’m going to have to put an end to this.

~ Yumxxx #link comment

Sometimes I wonder why everyone spurns Frankenberry in favor of Count Chocula, but then I realize that there are poor bastards out there still eating Cream of Wheat.

~ Joe #link comment

The little elves that live in hollow trees and make soft batch cookies please me very much. Thumbs up for those elves.

~ Joe #link comment

We live under one King, the King of Kings, Larry King.

~ Joe #link comment

Lie to your plants. Reprimand any disorderly nachos and punish accordingly.

~ Joe #link comment

Last count of online sinners quoting Dave Matthews: 10

~ Joe #link comment

Some say I am amusing, others just try to run over me with their car.

~ Joe #link comment

Those bastards who spell cream as creme really piss me off, kind of like how whenever I wear my leg warmers, Debbie Gibson hat, and jeans jacket, I get this huge itch.

~ Joe #link comment

“well it’s my damn cake and u can’t have it because you’re a punk and punks don’t eat my cake”

~ Joe #link comment

“I want punch and pie... I was told that there would be punch and pie. I WANT PUNCH AND PIE.”

~ Joe M. #link comment

Horoscopes

Capricorn: Your irrational fear of doctors will finally disappear this week and be replaced by a very rational, justified fear of them.
Aquarius: You will wish you had heeded your mother’s warnings concerning pickle consumption when you suddenly turn into one of the briny cucumbers.
Pisces: Your mama jokes will earn you many laughs.

...>>
~ Joe #link comment

I am the food stamp pimp.

~ Joe 1Jan02 #link comment

Yumxxx (8:02:36 PM): i guess it makes u feel like a big shot. trying to make me jealous. working, it is not.

~ Yumxxx 5May01 #link comment

“bored bored bored, border than bored…”

~ Joe 5May01 #link comment

“are u disrepecting cheese wedges?”

~ Joe 3Apr01 #link comment

Angry Broccoli, The Sarcastic Toaster, and The Screaming Tomato. Never before has a more powerful, mysterious, myopic team of appliances and cooked vegetables been assembled.

~ Joe 3Mar01 #link 1 comment

Recently, it has been brought to attention that my info makes no sense. I have thought about this a lot and I have come to a climatic realization, that being … “I know.”

~ Joe 2Jan01 #link comment

What the hell is with girls wearing those white puffy jackets. They look like friggin marshmellows. I’m going to be hungry one day and take a bite out of someone or maybe set them on fire and toast em. Just a thought.

~ Joe 12Dec00 #link comment

Stock up on carrots, because one day rabbits may rule the earth, and you'll have bargaining power. ...

...>>
~ Joe 11Dec00 #link comment

tell me of your homeworld Usel. crap, wrong window

~ Joe 11Dec00 #link comment

“i’m partial to kiwi strawberry passion fruit bluedini chocolate fudge chip extra mango creme swirl alicson. with a straw.”

~ Joe M. 10Dec00 #link comment

“hell yeah, I lead the league in ridiculous! NONE CAN STOP ME. and u don’t even quote most of my ridiculousness. why? i dunno. probably because I know you are jealous of my ridiculous ridiculous nature and that’s just ridiculous if you ask me, so stop being ridiculously ridiculous and give me ridiculous ridiculousness where it’s ridiculously due. oh yeah, and I’ve got twizzlers that I like to eat. ok. boo yah.”

~ Joe M. 10Dec00 #link comment

Frosting 2:13--Blasphemers: Ye who claim that there is no god. Shame on you, for ye must not know thy messiah, thy savior, thy god who rots your teeth known as Duncan Hines Creamy Homestyle Frosting.

...>>
~ Joe 11Nov00 #link comment

“green is a great number.”

~ Joe M 14Sep00 #link comment
Everything, including all the other ridiculi, is safely stored in the Archives