“I just want to make sure I’ve got this clear,” said the oh god in a reasonable tone of voice. “You think your grandfather is Death and you think he’s acting strange?”
I need to kiss your baby. ::chases after man carrying a baby::
Information is incapable of harm in and of itself.
Ideas are neither good nor bad, but merely as useful as what we do with them. Only actions can cause harm.
The more devoted, the more reason to lie. …
...>>House, M.D.: —You have little people inside you.
...>>“Our forefathers died for the pursuit of happiness. Not for the sit around and wait for happiness.”
Wes: Would you like an aspirin?
David: You got one?
Wes: No.
The other day I wanted some soup, and there was none in the apartment. What did I do? I went to the friggin’ store and got some soup! If that’s not taking charge of a situation I don’t know what is.
...>>I refuse to die becasuse of a figurative sheet of loose-leaf.
*Riddick:* “looks clear”
*other guy:* ::steps forward::
::monster flies out: RAWWRRRR
*other guy:* “you said it was clear!”
*Riddick:* “i said it LOOKS clear”
*other guy:* “well, how’s it look now?”
*Riddick:* ::looks:: “looks clear”
“what’s god?”
“you know—when you want something really bad and you close your eyes and you wish for it? god’s the guy that ignores you.”
“what’s the point of wearing your favorite rocketship underpants if nobody ever asks to see ‘em?”
“That’s the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn’t good enough for me! I demand euphoria!” ~Calvin
“I’m learning real skills that i can apply throughout the rest of my life … procrastinating and rationalizing.”
“in my opinion, we don’t devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.”
click this to be confused. if that link is out of order, click this or just run a web search for “kan guo lai”
“Programming is like sex – one mistake and you’re supporting it forever.” [courtesy of izzyadidas]
Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!
My grandson asked me where he came from. I proceeded to explain the facts of life. He seemed puzzled, I asked why? He replied, “Well, gee, Tommy, in my class came from Pittsburgh!!”
Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind."
...>>"people associate long hair with drug use. i wish long hair was associated with something other than drug use..
...>>(True Story) On the final exam of a psychology course, the professor put a chair on his desk and said
...>>“I put a button on it!..yes. I wish to press it, but I'm not sure what will happen if I do...”
“that would be cool if you could eat a good food with a bad food and the good food would cover for the bad food when it got to your stomach. like you could eat a carrot with an onion ring and then they would travel down to your stomach…then they would get there… then the carrot would say, ‘it’s cool—he’s with me.’”
in response to “boxers or briefs?” Stewie Griffin (of Family Guy, “it’s not the size of the wand, but the magic you perform with it.”
“Thursday. just remember Third day. Monday, one day. Tuesday, two day. Wednesday..when? what? what day? THURSDAY!”
“A buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, ‘Make me one with everything.’”
![iching: Fêng - Abundance [Fullness]](http://ferrydust.com/images/21.gif){kind=small}