sneaky spam email that wants to eat my emails and deceptively deciptivize everyone
...>>Once you apply real-world rules to comic books, things fall apart pretty quickly.
“I’ll have to watch that [Grey’s Anatomy episode 17] again. I was more fixated on what McDreamy was wearing.”
axxx: don’t tell DHS that. or DHL for that matter. they’re proud of their efficiency. DHS? not so much.
Alberto: “What does this have to do with the lint in my bellybutton?”
axxx: there we go
axxx: mixed up chinese, english, spanish and french
axxx: my brain is litereally sparking
axxx: sparks!
axxx: or sparks lo!
axxx: or sparks ba!
the guy says that he’s not familiar with the menu, so I should stop by the restaurant and order it there. I tell him that his idea sortof defeats the whole purpose of ‘take out’. He agrees and again suggests that I stop by the restaurant and order there.
...>>what’s going on in the world?
i don’t know!
the world could be falling apart and i don’t know. <hiccup> hiccup! </hiccup>
ali: you look so Chinese right now
alberto: Chinese?
ali: cuz you’re so sleepy your eyes are like slits…
alberto: oh. cuz I wasn’t spitting; I wasn’t hocking a loogie…
txxx: many of the convos you post tend to severely diminish my “hunk” factor.
...>>txxx: is it bad that i think i just got turned on?...>>
txxx: it’s like i’m in your future!
cxxx: you are.
cxxx: you’ll die soooner.
“Laughing like a banshee?? I’m giggling!
... actually, I’ll stick with ‘laughing like a banshee’....”
berto vs. chinese
kinda like joe v. the volcano…just without the cute girl..and, well, there’s no volcano…so it’s more like joe versus…. if my name were joe…. or if he were trying to learn chinese…
tread: I hate China. I kick China in the shin.
tread: Take that, China!
“What? All the sleeping babies? I don’t understand. There are no ninjas.”
you’ve been talking about doing that for the past ten years.
“I know, I’m actually putting my mouth where my shoes are. ...wait that’s not it..”
“Would you rather have jedi or spiderman abilities and do you take this man to be your lawfully-wedded husband..?”
“Jedi. I do.”
“would you pass me my separate glass of water? wait, we don’t even have separate glasses. see? why would we want to be separate?”
“it’s a constant choice [—to be with someone]. i choose to be with you. for the next month, for the next year… forever.”
“have a wonderful night, one in which angels and sunshine fall upon your soul, heart and mind.”
“i’m getting gushy. i din’t really mean to. all i wanted to say was that you’re weird.”
”...your name sounds like ‘Son of Wat Goodbye.’ And let’s be honest, that doesn’t make any sense at all!”
...>>“my daughters are not talking to me about sex. they’re talking to their mom. i’ll buy them ponies. and that’s it.”
”..<singing> the bear missed the train.. the bear missed the train, and now he’s walking! </singing>—what the hell was i thinking when i liked this song!?”
“he said ‘tread’.. that’s my name.. [he said] ‘i must alberto carefully…’”
tread: you know, if you changed your name to piotr, i could say “so i was talking to my friend piotr the other day”
"'Who am I to decide what is wrong or right for you when I am struggling with myself to live today?'
When on earth did I ever say that?"
“alicson. if you know me at all, you know i don’t really make mistakes when i’m dressing up. ESPECIALLY if i’m goin out dressing nicely. so it’s a moot point really. you’ll look at me and go “yum.” cause that’s what happens.”
Watson: can you drive at 20 miles below the speed limit?
Berto: Yes.
Watson: you’re asian. ...>>
so, this computer is approximately three weeks old now. i just ran Norton WinDoctor... which reports:
Problems Found....>>
There are 359 problems in 8 problem categories.
tread: i’m really rather proud of myelf. :-)
cnostaw: hahahah
cnostaw: yes. it IS an accomplishment.
tread: :-D proud Berto
tread: Praise me! :-)
cnostaw: berto is great!
*JoyServ giggles.
Tread: i prefer the term: unbelievably handsome.
*JoyServ giggles again.
*Tread laughs in a very manly manner.
"mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes."
...>>tread: berto hitting on any woman is never. i repeat, NEVER, charity. it is a gift that should be appreciated and enjoyed.
i would so DO this guy!..Jakob Dylan.. it..okay, i wouldn’t really do him.. i sounded really a lot more excited than i was..
x: i can’t get enough of the new justin timberlake song. it’s ridiculous. i wonder where along the line i became girly.
...>>“I specifically chose not to write to you because i decided, ‘no, I will not be the reason why she dies.’”
“my life IS simple. The only complication is caused by an ice cream eating girl.”
“man, ali, if i believed everything you say to me, i’d have the self esteem of a normal person.”
“You know the Smurfs were Communists? Papa Smurf with his red outfit and everyone having to share everything and do everyone else’s work.”
tread: so yeah. it’s not like i’d ask you fix the fact that i don’t eat ice cream.
...i think my argument fell apart somewhere along the line…just trying to figure out what my point was.
“A prisoner is told 'If you tell a lie we will hang you; if you tell the truth we will shoot you.' What can he say to save himself?”
...>>tread: i am the most non audacious person ever.
tread: look at me and my nonaudacity
“Emperor Rivera XXVII of the Holy Rivera Empire, excluding Ohio and Mexico, which are semiautonomous Provinces in control of Queen Alicson I (The beautiful and intelligent)”
“Hello?.... Hey Watson!... Hey…. why am I having such a hard time hearing you?.. Oh wait…”
::turns over telephone::
“If it weren’t for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, I’d be a drug addict, selling myself in the streets!”
“I went and got into a fight with some shrubbery. Shrubs are very tenacious. But then I got beat down by a tree.”
Adam: “Berto, if I were gay, I’d do you!”
Hark: “Why did he say that? Did you do him a favor, Berto?”
Berto: “No, it’s just my good looks. I’m an attractive man. Gay men like me.”
“I realized I have twice as many clothes at home, and I STILL can’t decide what to wear.”
“I wouldn’t want a robot girlfriend….well maybe just for sex….Wait, NO! I didn’t say that! No, you can’t write that down because I never said it! $%@& YOU!” [on the phone with Alicson]
“It’s so hard to be me! The world doesn’t always revolve around me. The Universe doesn’t always bend to my will. People don’t always do what I tell them to do. I don’t have a good enough British accent yet. It’s still not up to par. URGH!”
“Asians are crazy people. They have wild imaginations and they’re not content with their own language when they sing.”
=-O “Wow?? You can actually warn yourself on IM? Oh wait….... 20%!?!?!!?? ARGHHHHHHH!!!”
“You know who’s much more messed up than the Mexicans? The Japanese! They have all these crazy ideas. I think they’re all high. I bet they have one crazy bong session and go ‘Let’s make a show!’ [watching some very bizarre Japanese Anime]
“The world would be such a better place if it revolved around me… Cuz I’m so much BETTER than everyone else!”
“these spanish soap operas are addicting. i’m so intrigued now. I want to know more!!!!! Tell me you crazy mexicans!!! this is why hispanics are stereotyped for being so lazy. cause they keep on watching these shows.”
“So I think I’d like college but without the school….which would make it more like a 4 year vacation in which our parents spend over $10,000 for us to drink, hook up with random people and to spend their money recklessly.”
![iching: Fêng - Abundance [Fullness]](http://ferrydust.com/images/21.gif){kind=small}
