“He will if he wants to. And if he doesn’t then he doesn’t and then what does it even matter.”
“You might be too mixed.”
“I don’t care about her. She’s a slut.”
“This is wrong from more angles than a fractal polygon”
I discovered at a very early age that if I talk long enough then I can make anything right or wrong. So, either I’m God, or truth is relative. And in either case: Booyah.
“and and? I got to use the word emasculate before 10am”
“Maybe you need more pockets in your dresses.”
why is it so hard to get answers outofyou, woman?
I wtf your wtf
replacing pants with even better ones before meeting the bros is magical enough for me.
I don’t give a flip about tradition but I’ll be damned if I sour my palate to please the kimchi.
“It’s like a babushka doll of procrastination.”
Why are you sad?? you’re dumb!
— I guaran-god-damn-dee you.
I can win at comic books.
“I love you so much my heart just invaded my left lung to make room.”
You are a lifetime’s ambition.
your facebook says you like merlot but your tumblr says you like malbec. Should I bring both or was there a typo?
my love for seth and andy is real. it relocates mountains and pays parking tickets.
Babies are touch-sensitive — like an ipod.
If you'd like to page through, then by all means: