Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!
Last count of online sinners quoting Dave Matthews: 10
Some say I am amusing, others just try to run over me with their car.
My grandson asked me where he came from. I proceeded to explain the facts of life. He seemed puzzled, I asked why? He replied, “Well, gee, Tommy, in my class came from Pittsburgh!!”
alicson: he says it’s irregardless.
TheUgaBug: it’s totally …uh, gard.
"To dream the impossible dream, To fight the unbeatable foe, To bear with unbearable sorrow, To run where the brave dare not go.
...>>Those bastards who spell cream as creme really piss me off, kind of like how whenever I wear my leg warmers, Debbie Gibson hat, and jeans jacket, I get this huge itch.
overheard on Antioch campus regarding driving directions:
“do i turn left or right, or keep going straight?”
“no! not straight! it’s gayly forward!
“i’m a humble man.. but i know i’m more better-looking than him… even if i can’t use correct grammar.”
without me….your ego will be the size of NYC
Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind."
...>>“i want a japanese boyfriend with a motorcycle. well…he doesn’t have to be a boyfriend…just a friend with… aw fuck it, i really just want a motorcycle.” [one of my rume-tos in nihon]
WATASHI WA NIHON JIN DEWARIMASEN!!!
[for the 30th time]
NoStaw: here’s what you’ve said so far… :-) no :-) :-)
“all ladies beware of watson’s lair of female seduction”
“good people are gay”
you think you know…
skulls…it would recognize me if i called it.
ugab: i need to find things to ratchet. i got a ratchet wrench set for my housewarming, and must find things to bolt down, or at least unbolt and rebolt.
watson: tell him that even though he has a gf now, he better not stop sending me flowers.
i don’t think i’m cut out for this whole “work” thing…it’s rather ridiculous, if you ask me… i seriously doubt god had me in mind when he allowed the concept of “work” to exist
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