Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!
My grandson asked me where he came from. I proceeded to explain the facts of life. He seemed puzzled, I asked why? He replied, “Well, gee, Tommy, in my class came from Pittsburgh!!”
"To dream the impossible dream, To fight the unbeatable foe, To bear with unbearable sorrow, To run where the brave dare not go.
...>>Those bastards who spell cream as creme really piss me off, kind of like how whenever I wear my leg warmers, Debbie Gibson hat, and jeans jacket, I get this huge itch.
overheard on Antioch campus regarding driving directions:
“do i turn left or right, or keep going straight?”
“no! not straight! it’s gayly forward!
“i’m a humble man.. but i know i’m more better-looking than him… even if i can’t use correct grammar.”
Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind."
...>>
“i want a japanese boyfriend with a motorcycle. well…he doesn’t have to be a boyfriend…just a friend with… aw fuck it, i really just want a motorcycle.” [one of my rume-tos in nihon]
ugab: i need to find things to ratchet. i got a ratchet wrench set for my housewarming, and must find things to bolt down, or at least unbolt and rebolt.
watson: tell him that even though he has a gf now, he better not stop sending me flowers.
i don’t think i’m cut out for this whole “work” thing…it’s rather ridiculous, if you ask me… i seriously doubt god had me in mind when he allowed the concept of “work” to exist
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