ferrydust

17 January 2006 Tuesday

badness and curses upon many things

i lost my watch today. somewhere amidst the markets, my watch is either lying on some dirty street, or—far more likely—it’s in someone’s hand or on a stand being resold already. who knows. when i realized it was missing from my wrist (unlikely snatched.. it just fell off along the way, during some shuffling of bags on my wrist or something) i felt physically sick. for one thing, i rely on having a watch on my wrist—i always check the time consciously/unconsciously. but i also feel sick at the thought of just buying some whatever watch to put on my wrist now as replacement. Alberto gave me that watch. he was always quite pleased about that watch.. and i’ve always found it to be perfect, and feel perfect. and now it’s not where it’s been and i won’t see it again. i’ve had it for years, and it’s only ever ever taken off when i shower/immerse in water. i’m terribly unhappy without it.

while i’m in this mood, i’m going to go ahead and note how displeased i am about this unhealthy/unsafe/ungood thing that seems prevalent in Malaysia/Asia/the world these days. I can’t eat the fruits/order fruitjuice/have drinks with ice in it/order coffee, because: they spray pesticides, they put the ice on the dirty floor, they use poisonous coloring, etc.etc. and every few second’s i’m reminded to hold my purse close because it might get snatched from me. but holding my purse close to me doesn’t solve any problem as far as i see—if i act like the purse/contents are so valuable, they’re more likely to eye it.. and if í hold it tight, i’m more likely to get hurt when i hit the pavement from them grabbing it, or have my head smashed in so that i’ll let go.

whatever. none of that is new news. none of that is unique to this country/region.

and i miss my watch.