ferrydust

24 February 2004 Tuesday

onward through East of Eden

email to the two men closest to me:::

by the way

i read lee’s story.. about his mother…

it really, really hurt.

i read it over some colbycheese and ritzcrackers and brownie mix. while lor and mom have been out all afternoon.
i sat in the kitchen and cried loudly for a while.
it felt a bit strange, being alone in a house, and having nothing wrong, except reading a book, and feeling so hurt and crying so much.
humand/emotions are curious things.
i really missed you. i wondered what you’d think of me/how you’d look at me/how you’d hold me/what you’d say to me if you’d been there.
i had to cut my thoughts from the story and leave the kitchen. i think i’ll only remember the story when i’m prepared to feel hurt and cry again.

it is a beautiful book.

i still don’t understand what the natural/genetic/life-sustaining reason is that we cry. nor why i seem to do it extra-much.

i’ll be sad to finish this book.

dad, what’s your favorite book(s) ever? average joe girl eliminated the hot guy she was totally attracted to (and had totally made-out with.. but she really does kiss every single one of them when she’s alone with them), because he had no personality; she asked him what his favorite book was, and he said he didn’t really read.. she asked what the last book was he read.. he said he didn’t know. he didn’t seem to care much about it either. was she really expecting him to be so good at kissing and making out, AND be well-read/interesting as well?
poor daddy. i’ll leave you alone now… you’re reading this book after me? or after mommy?

it snowed today. crazy. but no sticking.

alberto, my mom and i are making chicken-rice-soup (khao-thom).. so if your cold decides to happen after all, i’ll make sure you eat some of it.

lor and mom just arrived home.

love,
~alicson

daddy replied:::

Mmmm, the Colby cheese I understand, but ritzcrackers & brownie mix???
I’m beginning to cry, just reading your email.

Favorite books? That’s tough. Like choosing a “favorite” friend, or season. The truthful answer is, and I think should be, “the one I’m reading now.” (Which happens to be “1421, The Year the Chinese Discovered America” -- a wonderfully eye-opening view of Chinese and world history.) Most of my favorites would be “eye openers” — that made me rethink or consider amazing things totally new. For novels, I can still recall crying during “Grapes of Wrath,” and many others. That’s part of what good writing is about. For the one that “I wish I’d written that”, certainly “The Tao of Pooh” would rank up there -- eye-opening, joyful, concise.

Hope you have a decent dinner.

Love,
\Dad

Bangalore
Wednesday, February 25, 2004 4:59 AM