25 May 2004 Tuesday

it's enough after long past too much

When is enough, enough?
Truthfully, usually long past ‘too much’.

Quasi-recent personal experience disallows me ever the straightforward answers:

• If you love her, fight for her.
• If you feel like you’re being a fool, you probably are.

it’s usually both.. necessarily both, whether to win or to lose.

If you love/want someone who doesn’t seem to love/want you back the same way/with the same intensity/intentions, then you fight for the person’s attention/affection, or you walk away (there are in betweens, but they are all pretty miserable if your feelings are strong for the person, and they’ll all lean/end with the one or the other.)

If there’s someone else in the picture.. a third person…
Then everything is compoundedly more complicated/confusing/frustrating/agonizing/painful. And in turn, as each of those are so terrible, one must convince themselves that the opposites have a fighting chance.. such that the hope is greater and the desire for the person is stronger.
And the loss will be all that more awful.

When is enough, enough?