ferrydust

15 January 2004 Thursday

what incites people to despise themselves—even for just moments at a time? to be their harshest critic.. what incites them to decide that some other cause, or another person’s happiness, warrants all of ones’ devotion, whether they believe they are deserving of that role and the rewards, or not. and then those other opposite moments.. when they know the world owes them everything they would/will have… love, friendship, power.. understanding, appreciation.. self-fulfillment… choices and decisions and committments, conscious or a form of self-abandon.. ...faith.

life has so much more potential when fueled with advanced motivations.—advanced, or more basic than most care to realize? well, i guess my point is that it goes much beyond survival.. —i thought of writing ‘mere survival’ but that’s just a bit extra presumptious and self-absorbed than i need to be right now; i’m sure i’ve already overdrawn my share in this post.. survival certainly tends to reach past food and water and shelter and nurturement.. (no. i did not mean to say ‘nourishment’. get over it.) and some are born with, or intend to find (and some do and some don’t) a greater motivation for themselves. always back to the secret of life somehow.. always back to most of the same concepts that most everyone either has and/or is contemplating perpetually… a little disconcerting to feel unoriginal, yes.. but it’s not entirely true.. and back enters faith.