09 February 2004 Monday

'do they collide?' I ask and you smile.. the world doesn't matter.

“when you feel embarrased,
then i’ll be your pride.
when you need directions,
then i’ll be the guide.
for all time.
for all time.”

~Death Cab For Cutie- ‘Passenger Seat’

having collected the past, curry the present, and cue the future .:.

tomorrow is the one year anniversary of the day a boy arrived in Antioch to visit me, and stayed for 10 days (i think it was sposed to be more like 6, but then that blessed hurricane snowstorm (fyi, a snowstorm generally IS a hurricane… just… with that whole coldness-that-begets-snow-and-ice sorta thing, going on) and that fantastic guy who called, officially informing us that the airports were closed…), and we flew home together.. and we haven’t been in the same state too often after that, but every bit of time in the past year has brought us closer. two days after tomorrow, on the 12th, we’ll fly to London together. our first trip together; my first time in Europe. Two days after that, will be the 14th..Valentine’s Day.. a day we also spent together last year.. this paragraph is actually a little harder to write than it might seem.. well, it actually might seem as hard as it is.. written with many pauses, as it is… remembering the incredibly wonderful moments.. and the very hard ones that are necessarily a part of our past.. and all the bunches of feelings and thoughts that pervade…

i… after trying to write this sentence a couple half dozen times, at least, and having erased it every time.. i’m just gonna stop. i’m very much looking forward to…. ::pauses yet again…and then smiles:: …everything.