slated in
mused at 12:59 am
i like looking at my xanga site. it has pretty colors. :happy: i think good when i’m sitting in a moving car without obligation to talking to anyone. good, clear, symphonious thoughts… whole precise and perfect conversations carried out and actions flawlessly executed… but of course there’s no tape recorder. and would there were, the thoughts are complete in my head cuz of all the millions of other backgroundnesses and the illustrations of other thoughts to color it and all that other…. until the whole mind-reading / social-telepathy thing gets figured out in the whole scheme of human evolution… the perfect thoughts will remain so only in head. can’t even get those all down in an absolutely personal journal…. those words are only the framework of what is all in mind. half-eaten apple’s feeling neglected.
in observation of the current weather commanded road conditions, i proclaim myself to be warrioringest driver of all. that is all for now.
slated in
stuff at 9:14 pm
here’s a thing with blogs, seemingly… it’s these “what kind of ___ are you” quizzes… that are so absurd, but so quick and more or less in their own way fun, that you end up actually doing them and then you gotta share the results cuz that’s what it’s about in the firstplace… here’s a mass of results: (sad that there’s even more than one.. yes.)
and in case you were wondering what number i am…
according to this quiz, i’m a 2. i…. okay. pizza’s ready. :) i’ll back later.
i am SO bad at this going-to-sleep thing… and the smileys choices on this thing are severely terribly limited. that makes me grumpy. i still don’t see why xanga has to be an asian thing. where’s all the round-eyed peoples at? eh. i really do intend to go to bed now. it seems like a reasonable thing to do… wish me luck..
i didn’t sleep yet. i’ve been dallying (it’s the patented ali thing to do).. here’s what i want to know: why are all xanga people asian?? there are more asian people using xanga than there are in… asia… no..that’s not quite right… but there’s a WHOLE lot of asian people using it… factly, i’ve not seen any non-asians on xanga yet… <strong>looking for non-asian xangans</strong> ..no luck.. still looking… amongst the dallying, i’ve been found to be both:
{once upon a time there was an image here} a tart
and
{another image, too, was here} a strawberry shortcake.
i would’ve rather been a chocolate chip cookie. at any rate… it’s friggin 3:30am now, and lor will be up in two and a half hours, and i should get up with him… and then up again to leave house by 9ish.. which i guess isn’t too bad.. but would be better if i’d been sleeping four hours ago… when.. people… told me to… oh well! sleeptime now. can’t keep up the chipperness without sufficient sleeptedness. ;-) nightnight.
i dunno where to start. there are too many buttons and lil pictures and edits you can add to this thing… makes me confuseded and takes too much time. must resist the lil buttons… so… i’m not going to bed right now, cuz i was explicitly told to. must wake up in about four hours to go to tibetan temple with mommy… been going to a different temple every weekend for past several weeks.. will continue… in respect of grandmother’s recent passing… mother was in malaysia for that… her whole family was around her as she passed… was good… i wasn’t there, but was important that my mommy was…. lorense has varsity basketball practice tomorrow morning from 7-11am… he made the team this afternoon… :) daddy’s in asia right now… he’ll be there for another few weeks… grandmother (his mommy) will be arriving from florida tomorrow evening… ‘was gonna see harry potter movie tomorrow eve… dunno if that’ll happen now… aip. that bed’s looking comfy without me in it… much to still be done, particularly in this month… time is almost up for this particularly floatish semester… ‘sbeen good.. i haven’t done so much with it in the way of work, but i’m pretty sure i rigged it that way… been a wacky past year… wacky past several years… good gracious… and only more will come… heh. i like that much. i concede. to bed i’ll go..
i find myself perpetually patronizing the pieces of my life… those pieces that i am not interested in keeping, but have been slotted in my path for color, i suppose. and then it rains… before or after i miss the sun that i know is promised to me. how lonely is a star? so far from other vibrant orbs, so surrounded by big rocks…that are so comparably small, but eat so much light. but if i can still hear my voice, then the mood of my scenes are bound to my themes… and my music always moves me.
It’s not important till she cries; it’s not serious till she’s gone.
You’ll have all the time to wonder why you left her alone so long.
What made you believe she’d be safe away from your arms?
That she’d believe you’d never let her go, when you already have?
You’d kiss her now, you’d come for her now; say anything to make her believe you again.
Were you lost at sea? She lived without you, alone on land…your love for her found drying on the shore…
You complained the sand would scrape you… ‘doesn’t matter anymore.
You won’t find her in the clouds or a castle made of sand..
You were too long lost at sea and left her lost on land.
One more promise for you to make; demand her heart for you to break..
What would you give her when she has nothing left for you to take?
She looked so lovely upon a pillowed heart of open sores..
But the magic leaves with her—gone to her new castle with nightingale floors.
okay then, here it is… thailand is certainly one of the most incredible countries in the world… bangkok will always have a home in my heart…and i will always feel somehow at home there, no matter how foreign we are to each other… i guess we’re not, so much…foreign, that is… and here… the tulips are up, the green is out, the sky is blue and washed lightly in clean white clouds… i just wish i had a bit more time in one home at a time…and by my own terms… about marriage, i think i’ve figured it out, more or less… largely with the last most of it leaving up to see what happens… my brother got bigger… my room’s still a clutter. love is so… incredible… at the same time, it makes me very skeptical of those who believe they are in love, or are the subject of love… as i know of very few cases where it is really, truly true… i don’t know about letting go… that’s a whole nother journey… why has winamp not developed a true working plugin for accepting thai song titles? and why is it so cold here? you babies whining about the “heat” last week… which would have been a calming coolfront by bangkok standards, i’ll bet… and here, the windows are much open all over my house because my family’s crazy and it’s COLD. grbrrr. i’m about to say that i feel like eating icecream…but the problem with icecream…right now particularly…is that it’s cold…and that helps my current situation not at all. why are there so few real counselors in the world? i know there are millions of wannabes. and quite a few with good heads…but not that ability to connect…. or good heads, but quite… inappropriate to handle someone else in a delicate manner. and i haven’t thoroughly thought this one through yet, but i think i will start on it… at least mildly… what’s the general toss up of late? mmm..i’ll get back on that point… i guess there isn’t at the moment…at the top of my head… but there’s always something… give me a lil while off the jet lag and some icecream in my belly and a lil more love around me… oh, btw, i put on more weight while i was in bangkok. humph. spicy food doesn’t upset me as much now either… i guess that’s good… i’m gonna miss thailand, while i’m away… the treatment’s quite different too…for me, anyway… can you believe they all tell me i’m so sweet and proper and nice and….quiet…. ;)
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