17 June 2006 Saturday

https://ferrydust.com/journal/1057/circumstanceassault

Yesterday was… a bit of a mixed day.
I got assaulted/accosted as I was walking out of my bank.. it was really strange and alarming and mostly strange. The guy yanked my arm off the door as I was holding it open for the next person.. He was really mad at me… Apparently he followed me into the parking lot? We had apparently both been on the road or at some other parking lot or somewhere, and he said I hadn’t acknowledged him or I had given him a snobby look or something… he kept calling me a snob.. I… didn’t recognize him.. I don’t know if he had me mixed up with someone else.. I kept feeling I should feel more scared or be a bit more organized in responding, but I was just really shocked and didn’t know what/how to respond.. it was kind of like watching the strange scene happening to someone else. I didn’t know if he was going to hit me or kill me or…
I was lucky I didn’t have to think so much about it
Three or four other people (one nice woman.. one or two adult men and one younger guy) got in his way and pulled me aside and told me to just leave and they kind of blocked him and I just quickly went to my car and got in and glanced briefly in the rearview mirror but didn’t want further eyecontact with him to agitate him. I was a bit worried on the drive home that he might have followed me or gotten my license plate number and track me home… but.. I’ll just hope that’s not the case. I’m still feeling a bit weird about the whole thing.. Was rather antsy for a while when I got home. I can feel the twist on my arm.. I don’t know what happened.

The one thing that struck me while it was happening, was my conversation in the morning with my dad, about circumstance—a subject I’ve been thinking about a little bit in depth particularly as of late.. How everything is just soooo circumstantial. And this was just one more thing… One more wildcard.. Made up of a million other wildcards to create and definite reality. I don’t like it. It’s a beautiful idea, but so reckless and careless and.. it doesn’t matter if I like it or not..