04 April 2008 Friday

Somewhere in Between

About half a decade ago, I went to a Matchbox Twenty/Lifehouse/Everclear concert. Seems like another lifetime; a different stage, different actors.

Infinite possible paths, but in the end (reincarnation aside) we each have one path blazed or dragged behind us, however many bends and directions it may reflect.

I expect that it’s not too uncommon a pattern: my path crossed individuals that I deeply wish I had never turned from, and others that I should and would have left much earlier than I did.
One path found of every choice.

And there’s a lot I’ve forgotten that I wish I remember. Memories that are still meaningful to me, and that I know took place, but that otherwise seem gone from me.
Memories, experiences, sharing, love — they are the most important. Everything else we covet is directly or ultimately linked back to those most important things.

So I am very sorry for some of the things that I had and lost, and especially to those I hurt who absolutely did not deserve it. And I am sorry to myself for some of the choices I made, or did not make in good time.

I know that forgiveness, especially of oneself, is a very difficult but deeply worthwhile thing to attain. Maybe that’s what I am or should be better reaching for now. There’s a lot that I would not leave behind me — but it’s behind me, always, nonetheless.
There’s still path to forge.