12 April 2004 Monday

mondays' ears are always burning

well, it’s a slightly brighter shade of grey outside now, anyway.

very hungry today. and tired/sleepy. and particularly uninterested in all this work stuff.
’not much to say right now. last night was an interesting bunch of things to consider before sleep. i was really tired. i was falling asleep a lot toward the end. would wake up again momentarily.. easily slipped back, though.

i am a pre-emptor. i figure that’s consistent with my inclination to place intent over action. it more or less reasonably is very confusing for others, though, who generally probably aren’t in the habit of predicting or interpreting one’s as-yet-unhappened actions or intentions. i can also be a generally very indignant person. this combined with the other probably contributes to, or at least certainly compounds my general belligerency. well, i’m actually not a particularly belligerent person. but i tend to be quick to indignantly challenge, whether out of vanity or curiosity or preemptive indignance at another’s impropriety, or maybe a fair degree of boredom. can’t fairly accuse me too much of being boring. in reason, i’ll add a contradiction on difficultness: i can be very difficult. but i’m pretty simply managed. <strong>shrug</strong> i never thought it should be so hard for people to figure out.. but then, most people are just people. a lil sad sometimes, but true. and necessary. notice the rambling? i’m pretty sure i began with something more worth saying. well, interpret what you may. i should restock on chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. maybe we can have pizza for dinner tonight. oh. still have omelettes to make. maybe this afternoon. sukoshi odd.
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as far as imagining and thinking out inplausible scenarios go, ...well, i’m offhandedly not a squeamish person. considering theoretical situations or listening to someone interpret they’re likely reactions to an unlikely situation, gives me insight and understanding into them (and people/the world/myself), though it may be based largely on their interpretations of themself, more than anything they would actually do in actuality.
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okay. down with the analytical mood. i’d guess a lot of it is just trying to scatter bored excuses for myself. whatever that really means. cheese and crackers would be so good right now. so good.
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i’m told i’m quiet today. well, i’m.. i’m a bit tired still. and i’m very hungry. she’s gone to grab lunch for herself and will return with a twix bar or two for me. <strong>happy</strong> and a reasonable amount of not-too-much time is left for my work day. should really be productive when i get home. even if it’s murky and so rainy outside and i just think the world therefore owes me a nap. when am i ever going to get to read Kingdom Come? let alone Grapes of Wrath which i’ve still rarely/barely opened.
you know, a hundred lifetimes wouldn’t be enough.

...but they’d be 99 more than i have right now. and that’s something.
but then… this lifetime is one more than i might have had.
and that’s really very something too. i’d venture.. that’s something even much more.
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she forgot my twix bar :-/
i’ll live. in an increasingly better mood now, i think… must compensate/combat outside grey!
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Thai’ new year this weekend.. april’s going by quite quickly.
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’arrowsaround’ .. ’almostanarrow’
....one could be misconceived—or more personally interpreted.
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home time! :)