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I want so much to open your eyes, ‘cause I need you to look into mine.

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It had my heart, it has my heart, be still my heart, my heart will stay

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"Everything counts a little more than we think..."

20 January 2004 Tuesday

slated in moments at 5:51 am

a bit of trouble sleeping.. tho most of the necessary ingredients are there, and even some bonus ones… the people i love are safe, and asleep; i’m listening to one of them.. my blankets are cozy.. i’m certainly tired.. it’s quite late; i’ve been going to bed later than has been my new usual—new now being nearly a year..or maybe a bit more than.. there are no huge conflicts in my life right now to really ponder and keep me up at night.. i did get a bit of worthwhile recreation in this evening.. shrug bottom line is, i’m not asleep. and there’s much to do tomorrow, as the usual.

this week is pretty full, t’would seem: mostly owing to chinese new year. wednesday is chinese new year’s eve, and i have a phone conference with my antioch co-op advisor in the morning, maybe a 2nd interview in the afternoon in d.c., and dinner with family friends at my house. then thursday is chinese new year’s breakfast, and that evening a friend will be spinning in adam’s morgan, so i intend to be there. friday is dinner out at chinese restaurant with family and friends, and then saturday is another thing back at my house for dinner again. cleaning and cooking must pre-happen, and i’ve still got my papers to finish up. bloody finish up already, girl!

alright. off i go then. yes. poof

19 January 2004 Monday

slated in moments at 9:28 pm

well, i do feel sukoshi accomplished today. at least now this is relatively reasonably sufficiently working. i’m going downstairs now.. family hasn’t seen me in a few hours, and i have a date this evening. :)

slated in moments at 8:45 pm

this is really kind of… i dunno. i haven’t totally figured out how any of this works, but i’m back here again, seemingly trying the whole thing out, once more. i’ve been updating xanga a fair amount, but i really do need to consolidate the current ‘aim profile’ site with my ‘xanga’ site… then all will be much happier.

slated in moments at 5:13 am

he does talks in his sleep.  


sweet.

x.'sad day' nothing.

slated in moments at 4:04 am


humph. “sad sad day,” he says.  yet, where there was once a broken computer, there is now a working one. where’s the props for that, yo? :indignant:

18 January 2004 Sunday

slated in moments at 5:14 pm

xanga customer support is one of the most unhelpful things ever. bob was friendly and unhelpful.  freddy gave me a generic response that didn’t have anything to do with my question. so glad to have jumped the ledge and gone premium. to be totally honest, the only thing that’s really different and useful about premium is that the ads at the top are gone. and really? ads don’t bother me so much. all i wanted was to add a line of css to my page. really.

on another note, HAPPY BIRTHDAY Liam

17 January 2004 Saturday

slated in moments at 3:53 pm

hurray for successful therapy. (at least for now… :sukoshi foreboding:)  quite a number of things i want to say.. but i’m not sure where to start or how to lightly convey… i’m a lucky, lucky girl. i mostly always have been. but… :confidently pleased: i really always will be. gotta refigure this whole current living arrangment thing tho.. 


oh.. about that whole dressing up for going out thing and all of that.. let’s see if i can get this across as briefly and cleanly as possible: in general, girls like being taken out at least once in a while. that includes dressing up and being fancy and proper and all that good nonsense. however, as long as it’s not entirely due to laziness, but rather due to a true desire just to spend some real time with her, then really, the cuddling on a couch/bed idea, wearing whatever or not that you choose, either feeding one another grapes or pizza or godiva chocolate, under a blanket.. (and bring along a journal or a book or put on a good movie..) and just be really happy together. in the past, this has also been successfully accessorized with a gift of cookie-dough icecream and flowers. 


okay. none of that was brief at all. here it is then: make her feel you really like her, and that you really like being with her. ultimately, that’s what it’s all about, and what it will most always be about. if that’s really true, after all, (and of course if she feels the same for you) then most everything else really can be solved well.


this was poorly written.. i’m pretty tired… it’s so late! i’m not used to being up so late! how did the time fly so? oh.. i know.

16 January 2004 Friday

slated in moments at 11:16 pm

i dunno what to tell you.

slated in moments at 10:22 pm

i still want to eat his head.

okay so… while i was mostly joking and really mostly following well-known stereotypes, the truth is i think i’m pretty stressed right now. i think it might be showing a bit. i dunno…

slated in moments at 9:33 pm

i’m ‘a kill him. i want his head on a platter and i’ll eat that tonight; forget going out for dinner. totally insensitive,  @$&*!# grr! i don’t shop much in general. i don’t shop for dress-up occasions. and it’s frickin freezing outside. my appropriate ensembles are meant for summer and spring, neither of which right now is even close to.  i’m either missing the belt, or the earrings, and the top totally doesn’t go with the bottom of this one, and the other ones just aren’t right at all. i’m unhappy, my tummy hurts, i *STILL* don’t know what to wear, i don’t feel like going out, i feel cold already even though i’m not outside, my mother’s being super helpful but her stuff makes me feel totally not my age, i have emails and stuff i really need to respond to rather than figuring out what frickin thing i’m gonna wear to a frickin Y#@$()**U@((&*WE. i hate the world. everyone should die. this is ridiculous.  humph. okay. back to the drawing board.


p.s. only out of love.

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