When I see you, I really see you upside down. But my brain knows better—it picks you up and turns you around.
...enough to make it seem like I was only there long enough to disappear…
...Excuse me, are you lost? Perhaps you would care to visit the site map
She was 44.
She had three children, ages 16, 12, and 8.
She was active in her community as a volunteer, and played sports with her friends.
Apparently this past year she was grappling with a divorce, and alcoholism.
Early this morning on 107.3 FM (I only ever hear the radio on occasional instances while driving) there was a hearty discussion about Soul Mates. Do they exist? How do we feel about the idea? Etc..
It was kind of a “I absolutely do not believe in soul mates, because…” versus “Well, I think there are soul mates -- more than one, though.. because…”
Watched the Julia Macnamara episode (season 2, ep. 12) of Nip Tuck today.. it’s actually the first episode I had ever seen of Nip Tuck, many many months ago.. probably chanced upon it on TV. I think it’s one of the best episodes.
I don’t feel like writing a lot about it/the show.. It’s a good show, but it’s not a really positive or helpful show, though it’s well-blunt. I have lots of thoughts on it though… on the show.. on the episode.. on Julia and the other characters.
The overview of this episode is that it’s Julia finally recognizing (at least subconsciously.. don’t know what she’ll end up really doing with herself) her own responsibility for her reality. —That’s not to say that she has the perfect husband or most supportive mother/friends/etc… but like most people, she’s underestimated her own role in her life.. her own influence on both herself and on the people around her.
I’m grateful for the good people in my life. Not just the fun ones, useful ones, or close ones, but the fundamentally good ones.
Enjoyed the blackout last week.. a nice setting for dinner and chatting by candlelight..
I played with fire. I like doing that. I also tried roasting marshmellows but they didn’t turn out so impressively (not enough space/height in the setting of the flames). Still fun, though.
Starting to see a pattern of what works and what doesn’t. That’s helpful.
I don’t sleep-in lately. Sleeping fine.. but lingering in bed in mornings when that’s an option ends up not working out. I guess that’s good.
Been eating sooo much lately.. Such good food at each meal… Sashimi, basil chicken, sesame chicken, brussel sprouts (surprisingly good.. compliments to the chef), pork, lamb and beef steaks barbequed, ice cream (in between meals)…
Some things and some people are worth caring about.
And some simply aren’t.
Doesn’t matter where the good goes, once it’s gone.
A simple mistake starts the hardest time..
Where does the good go?
To answer...
Pearl Jam‘s song ‘Nothingman’, recently appears on this site under lyrics and playlists.
I’m actually not a Pearl Jam fan.. but someone whose musical taste I generally synch with, or at least appreciate, considers himself one of their biggest fans, so I’ve kept a slew of their music at hand.
I’m certain I’ve heard Nothingman before because the chorus is familiar, but I know that I would have skipped it every time upon hearing that chorus, because the lyrics and sentiment simply conflict with… well, it’s not the type of thing I like to sing about or dwell on. It’s very sad, besides.
They really do help: the old journal entries.. the old quotes and vague sentences, exact words.. the datestamps and locations/mindframes recalled..
(…)
Not outward gravity, though.. just inner. Everything is necessarily internal at this point.
I was going to publish this as a blank entry. Title only. A placeholder for myself.. I would recall the context and remember or intepret my mindset and message.
![iching: Fêng - Abundance [Fullness]](https://ferrydust.com/images/21.gif){kind=small}