04 December 2004 Saturday

Friday night Rambly Ramble

ICWA thing tomorrow. Gilmore Girls is actually a damn cute show. it’s reaffirmed whenever i watch it. funny and sweet. however predictable. i’d thought i could eat all the sashimi. maybe i could have if i hadn’t also ordered the sesame chicken meal with rice and soup and sushi on top of it all. come to think of it, that meal (sans the sashimi boat—cuz that’s some $25) is a really good lunch special. it is. my computer’s not in my hands tonight. how sad. not terribly horribly sad. but noticeable. and notable. and unpreferable. i didn’t get chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream tonight. or any ice cream at all. i need a dress for the office party thing in a couple weeks… what to ramble on about first… needing a dress? or party thing upcoming.. or couple weeks coming up so quickly and then time to up and go far away…. much supposed to be done before going. much would be nice to be done before going. haven’t planned what i’ll do there. make it up along the way; the usual plan.. that whole retreat idea that was suggested a long time ago probably would have been very healthy for me. i knew that. why subject oneself to discomfort, however knowledgeable of the beneficial properties? unfortunately i’m much better at the offering advice than the living it. what a common trait. anything particularly to be needing and taking advice about lately? nothing drastic. or dramatic. just the usual, underlying, constant and persisting basics of character and habit. well aware. it’s good when the sun’s out. when i can feel warmth. at the moment, feeling cold. not cold cold. but i know my feet and toes are cold, even though i’m wearing socks, and this leather jacket i’m wearing isn’t convincing me that my back isn’t cold… and all day i’ve avoided the cozy feeling of my bed and blankets because i’ve been fully dreading that sensation (however brief) of the cold blankets and bed touching me all over…. i know they heat up with my body warmth… eventually… but eventually is entirely too long to be extra colder than i already i am. oy. have i been complaining a lot lately? seems like it a bit… which is a bit disconcerting becuase i’m not feeling unhappy… maybe slightly uncomfortable with the cold and stuff… but not freezing nor unhealthy, nor particularly irked or stressed. if i am disturbed at all then, what is it by? is it distress or is it restlessness? if it’s restlessness, is it from wanting to move or from expectation of something to move and anticipation of my own necessary reaction? all things are revealed in time. i’m intrigued by that sentiment. i’d like to lay out a whole bunch of sentiments and assertions and predictions and observations and discuss them with worthwhile persons. ‘wonder if i’ll get to that this winter. good things in good time. good gracious my mother’s birthday is coming up. and then bahbe’s. and christmas and i’ll already be gone.. and for Kong-Kong.. ooh i’m going to get to spend time with my cousins (some of them) and uncles and aunts… ‘wonder if i’ve grown out of (rather, if they’ve grown out of) the Alicson-the-wild-American-one conception. i’ve always found it terribly ironic. i’m increasingly less offended by it though. Alicson the wild one. heh. how high on the list of “last things in the world Alicson would be called, ever”... but the words “zany” and “silly Asian girl” would’ve been way way up there too. i guess i have my moments. i think my phone’s beeping. that’s up on my bed. my cold bed. my cold bed with the blankets and pillows that do eventually warm up if i give them half a chance. sleeping with freshly clothes-dryer-tossed sheets… that’s the way to go. happy thoughts. tomorrow should be sunny. ..high of 49°F!? goodnight.