‘not happy with it. but i guess i’ll go ahead and open it up anyway.. prolly tomorrow or so. i got really lazy at the end, so the code’s a bigger disaster than even it was before. <strong>shrug</strong> working progress, slow and disjointed as it may be.
i haven’t really talked ‘bout the cicadas yet.. i will.
my brother’s going to prom this week.
i thoroughly wish i could have stayed in bed today.
there was something else i’d wanted to say… aimahno..
i’m being urged to open this site up, finished or not. that’s a pretty good reason, for me, to get it together (or throw it together, as perhaps is more the case) and let this go as a rough draft, at least, in the nearer future than i might have planned for. planned? eh.. not so much. no plans, really. just an inclination and intention to work on this site and to open it up, and to keep working on it. no deadlines necessary for any of that. so it’ll open up, very incomplete.. i prolly won’t have implemented the heavy css into it, but i swear i’ll replace the tables someday… i just don’t yet really know how, and despite the innumerable tutorials online on the subject, i am definitely currently more comfortable with my trusty tables. right now, must repair some of the more obvious spots that scream, “Caution: Construction in Progress. Please remain calm, and have patience with me.”
Why must The Practice be on so very late? so past my bedtime.
oh, i didn’t even mention…
yesterday i got a flat tire. got it in the driveway here. it was a nail..went in by the head. they’re thinking it probably came from the roof here when the roofers were working last week. humph. at least it was all successfully taken care of. i had very immediate alertion and then help putting on my spare, from here, and the guy at the Service Tires place was also extremely courteous and good. so it worked out this time.
blooming flowers are such beautiful and fascinating things…
where there were only leaves—little green shoots in the ground, born from a bulb of dull color and unapparent promise, suddenly seems to one day have grown an impressive stem and the telltale droplet shapes that crowd the top, winking of magnificent iris blooms to come.
i used to love those days.. walking by our garden plots in the drowsy mornings to school, seeing green green green and stems and bulbs with just the shyest lines of color… and upon returning home being greeted by full, new-born stars of royal violet, angel white and blue, rich canary yellow, the prettiest velvet black, and dark periwinkle blues.
cicadas don’t eat irises, do they?
working on millville projet. i actually am having fun with this. i want the next piece. but ‘can’t move forward til the other people on the project (who actually know how to do all this) finish their pieces of it.. and one of them won’t be in today and the other has no time to even delegate it. so sad. i want to finish it. i want to send it out.
6:30am is just too early to be sitting at work already, more than twice a week. i’m sooo sleepy. and i’m actually more awake this morning than i’d expect to be. i’ve gotten myself to bed so very late the last two nights.. trying to do several different things.. mom and dad also keeping busy with their very particular projects. work is getting a bit interesting because i’m actually doing the start-to-end of several things now.. truth is, i’ve really not been meeting my potential for a while now. it’s been kind of nice, and kind of guilty. ‘was a time when i would take anything on with confidence that i could reasonably compete with—and probably outshow—anyone on it, no matter their background or mine on the subject. i haven’t really done any such thing in a while. several different reasons i guess.. but i’m starting to get uneasy that i’ll be found out for not meeting the expectations of the world, sooner than later; even though i always know that later, ultimately, the world will owe me more than it even expected to. i wonder how much of a rush i am in, though, or should be. *believer* that, essentially, eventually all things are done and known* so i’ll find me—if i have been any lost, after all. but (when) should i start looking..?
last day of this month. it’s been a lil bit of a while since i wrote; thus i drop this note.. ‘just to say i’m well and, while nothing extravagant is presenting itself at present, i’m looking forward pleasantly to every unit of time.
i did give wordpress a try, btw.. first glance says i’d like it more if i knew css better (but that only really has to do with their template). the main thing is that i seem to be used to movabletype, even if i very much still do not feel any sort of fluency in it. but my guess is that i will stay with movable type for a while yet… but if you’re starting out on a new blog, wordpress is very easy to set up, and has much more automation and integration of key blog features than does movable type.
tonight’s going to be a good night.
weather’s looking good..
‘sending over love and best regards to far-away family..
how will this summer play out?
only one lifetime for it all, as far as this consciousness is concerned…
today ‘was given the official letter offering me a full time position where i work. —what are three-five more pressing things i should work on / fix / change / add / tweak / polish on this site?
6:40am~ sleeeeeepy. holy so sleepy.
yesterday was very pleasant.
there’s a bunch of stuff i’d like to discuss…. but i don’t really feel so at liberty to freely think/write while i’m at work.
6:11am~
i am so tired today. oy.
yesterday was nice enough. beautiful weather. essential company. all mostly reasonable things.
i forgot how hot my room can get.. it’s all that altitude..
and the basement is going to be a welcomed-back friend.
i hear that if your brain doesn’t get enough water, it gets sleepy. or your whole self gets sleepy, anyway.
i dunno. i’m sleepy/tired.. but i even feel lazy to drink my water that i have here with me.
i understand that work is a necessary function of society/life
but this can’t really be very much way to spend one’s limited days.
not for me, anyway.
but means to an end.
imposition and justification.. most things seem to be fine and well as long as they do not affect others. but to affect others in a way unpleasant to them is widely viewed as wrong.
would isolation satisfy others? no.. that would be selfish and insociable and inhuman and wrong, as well. to not be, is not acceptable. to not be nice, is not acceptable. must be nice, to be accepted. or so powerful that outlook upon you is only of pathetic and suggestive consequence. okay, so.. be nice or be powerful. this is all toward efficiency and idealism, btw. cuz of course you can be of average stock and be not nice. but since there would be that backlash since it is unacceptable social behavior, that’s simply not going to be a very ideal lifestyle for one who wants any sort of an ideal… mm. then we get to the concept of ideals. and an individuals’ personal ideals versus society’s. in fact, of course, a person’s morals and goals as well.
right of an outsider to go and impose their own ideals and methods and expectations on others.
but that’s humanity, right? struggle to be bigger, stronger, better, and to impact as many/much as possible. make them like yourself, or make them like you’d like.
~7:32am
soooo sleepy.
8:12am~
seriously. this energy being expended on keeping my eyes open makes it difficult to find energy for anything else (e.g. work).
and what i’m doing at work isn’t so terribly tiring at all…
and while i didn’t sleep early last night, it was certainly earlier than usual.
..though i did have to get up a bit earlier than usual, also…
but i guess what it is, is all the accumulated nights of not very much sleeping, for whatever reasons.
i need back those evenings, not long ago, when i would stop whatever i was doing to say, “screw it all; i’m going to bed. life and all this stuff will still be there tomorow.” yes. i must have those nights again.
8:43am~
lucky those who are staying in bed today. that’s where i belong, too.
‘guess there’s not much urgency to check my email today, then.
10:55am~
at least i’m more awake now. Also making progress formulating how to transfer / integrate aim profile site here.
11:41am~
said the rabbit to the bumblebee: “you can’t you can’t you can’t catch me!”
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