I’ve had an RSS notice in my email box since this morning, informing me that there was an Announcement entitled ‘A Terrible Sadness’ to the Textpattern forum. But I didn’t read it until just now. I had no idea…
My reaction has been shock and sadness and sorrow and regret and confusion… I didn’t really know sivni. From my impression of him from the forum, I liked him, and we communicated for a little while regarding his start up of textgarden. But I had not read his homepage posts that very honestly and openly revealed his battles with depression and panic attacks. I didn’t know. I’m sorry and I’m sad. And there’s a whole lot of us who are sad right now and grieving for him.. let alone the people who actually met him and knew him and loved him. How can a person be so unhappy, to be willing to leave everyone else behind—and more than that; be willing to hurt them and deprive them of the person they care about. I can’t be mad at sivni. I didn’t know him well enough and I don’t know what he went through. I’m sorry I didn’t know, I’m sorry I didn’t …somehow make things better for him… better enough.. And I think about other friends and people I’ve known.. People I’ve known well enough. Either after the fact or even during.. I’ve been lucky. Of the people I’ve known and cared about who have seriously attempted suicide, they’ve all failed. For one reason or another, it didn’t happen. And I’m grateful and sad and angry and if they had succeeded… How could they? What would.. I just… Everyone deserves a chance.. Everyone who cares deserves a chance to know it’s that bad, and to try to fix it… to try to save their friend, whether selfishly or not. I don’t know. it doesn’t happen like that. I know it just doesn’t happen like that. I don’t know what I’m trying to say or convey. I’m really sad. I’m really sorry. For all of them. I hope Sivert was more happy than sad, when he could be, and I hope he’s at peace now.. ...
I wrote my offhanded response to David Brooks’ article, All Cultures Are Not Created Equal a few days ago.
The following are my brief thoughts while reading the 12minds response to that article.
Alberto passed me this op-ed piece from the New York Times, by David Brooks: All Cultures Are Not Created Equal.
This really is a controversial subject. It’s along the same thread as “all men are not created equal”, isn’t it?
This is a long-standing subject of interest to me.
I do not believe all men are created equal. I do believe all men should be treated with reasonable consideration, respect, and open minds. ‘Reasonable’ is a very relative term, though, both upon the one doing the reasoning and the one being reasoned.
slated in
mused at 11:09 pm
If start-up capital and long-term funding were a non-issue, and thus investment and otherwise profitability were of no concern, where would you direct your efforts?
What institution or activity would you setup or pursue?
What would make you happiest/most satisfied?
slated in
mused at 11:19 am
Context trumps content.
and in a proper world, Intent trumps action.
Ramble on these matters have been rambled much on paper in past... currently surfaced and mulling in my head.
slated in
mused at 8:22 pm
some “yes it’s obvious but i’m thinking about it anyway” rambling, for a bit:
Writing in a blog is really not like writing in a journal. In the pages of a journal, you can write about work and your boss and your clients; relationship doubts and problems; frustrations with parents, inlaws, siblings;
Even better if you can keep that journal safely under lock and key, or write it in a language no one else can read.
No such thing online.
slated in
mused at 8:27 am
Watched “What the bleep do we know?” tonight.. parents had rented it and watched yesterday. … This movie/documentary was a lil slow in some ways, but pretty cool. Quantum physics. None of it new for me.. but some of it very nicely worded. And i like having the ideas floated around and shared.
slated in
mused at 3:22 am
i’d say something if i knew what; i don’t, but i’m still a bit compelled. or twisting. probably twistng.
there’s always retrospect. if you’re unlucky or inattentive, the emphasis is heavy on the always and the retrospect is quickly underestimated and relieved of responsibility.
refute the always, forget the inciter of retrospect.
Happy Chinese New Year everyone. This year, 2005, is the year of the Rooster; I guess that doesn’t necessarily mean a whole lot to everyone, but it’s something for me. Whether you’re a rat or a rabbit or tiger or dragon or goat, dog, pig, ox, snake, horse, monkey, or …
I’m not totally sure how to feel about the Rooster sign… it’s a Rooster / Cock… it’s not a Hen. So…what does that mean for female Roosters? Also, is it a chicken, a domestic bird that waits everyday for a new dawn, or is it the small form of a phoenix, able to rise from every dust and carry the sun through any day?
I think… some things are innate; sub-conscious / feelings…. and not everyone can choose to be something they’re not..
but everyone can choose to try, and everyone can choose to be or do something different.
There’s only so much room in the present, and in the past.. Find new room in the new years.
My dear friend Sean once told me that packing is something that should either always be done at the last minute possible, or it anyway might as well. His reasoning was that it certainly will get done. Whether you do it three days in advance, or 20 minutes before leaving, you will get packed and you will have with you what you’re bringing and that’s that.
Now, there are a dozen or more things wrong with that general philosophy, and certainly with that specific example.. but the basic truth is that he’s right. The packing will get done.
It’s not quite the same as one of my favoritest quotes ever:
“The truth is that we live out our lives putting off all that can be put off; perhaps we all know deep down that we are immortal and that sooner or later all men will do and know all things.”
~Jorge Luis Borges
But at this time, I am finding cause to exercise liberties and am deigning to invoke it.
This has been another Ali-moment in putting off what actually needs to be done and instead doing….what really doesn’t.
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