02 June 2018 Saturday
double-jointed
I wonder how different my life would have been/felt if I had been born not double-jointed. Piano, mudras.
You are not what happened to you. You are what you choose to become.
so tonight, when i left here, all i said was “goodbye” and thats alright. no “i’ll see you later”. i’ve been trying my whole life.
And if its an eye for an eye, why cant i get this right? i’m too slow to go fast, i’m too nervous to do that. so i run, run away.. why should i….
Excuse me, are you lost? Perhaps you would care to visit the site map
I wonder how different my life would have been/felt if I had been born not double-jointed. Piano, mudras.
“I think you’re fishing for mountains in a sea of molehills.”
—2009
Another full eve, with trepidation, excitement, realizations, consternations, liberations. …
I thought things tonight that were not possible to consider just a month ago
Whilk and Misky – Babe I’m Yours
Auli’i Cravalho – How Far I’ll Go (Moana soundtrack) (and variations thereof)
Jack Savoretti – Wonder
Gavin DeGraw – She Sets the City on Fire
Bennington – Gracefully
Andy Grammer – Fresh Eyes
Panic! At the Disco – Victorious
Raven Parque – She
TheWhatley – Alive
Snow Patrol – Empress
Jimmy Eat World – You Are Free
I have so many questions. However, other things are much more important than knowing
The smiling tuktuk driver; wonderful super mario kart course; beautiful elegant wonderful costumes and fabrics; happy foods, desserts; navigating rain on sidewalks; looking for fireworks across the city; finding favorite remembered foods; Ee-Ee my langsat hero+; A.SJ my cockroach hero (let’s not make that a thing); good gracious cockroach adventures (let’s really not make that a thing); sunsets and sunrises; beautiful beautiful juxtapositions, and many views thereof; chocolate tea with earl grey jelly, found again; ridiculous and happy airport trolley cart rider; dancing and packing; navigating rush hour bangkok; happy babies and their friendship; introducing Asea and Renu28 to people and watching them smile, dance, hope, register domain names; sharing sandals; best friends making somtam; my cousins; infinity pools; double malay wedding and perfect priorities; perfect Bangkok parking; night of the blue blood moon; high strung family and absolutely wonderful family; candlelit showers; night markets fish markets food markets fruit markets; 24-hour fruit+ market; sharing airplane seats; movie tradition; after-hours jacuzzi times; Oathbringer; dancing and packing; secret bookshelf room; elusive burger vendors; wrangling digital photos; laughing ancestors; mango lassi and coconut; heritage foods and lessons; perfect Penang driving; seeking wifi; the longest bridge in Asia (really, guys?); happy family on the motorbike; all the icecreams; wonderful house gardens; creative cny decor; my sister; multiple karoke; guppy fish spa; old friends and new ventures; the whiskey bar, perfect; classical life; hotel lounge life; and thanks for all the fish, and seafoods. See you again soon[er].
internal dialogue: “Eep! outdated date! must update! urgent! ::updates:: phew.”
More progress on one front made in the past few days than in the past few years. And things feel different and things feel the same. Still tons of dreamings, and reflective memories come on occasion and I do not mind; I really don’t regret; the reasons and non-reasons all remain sound; and I am glad and grateful for what is and what wasn’t and what may yet be. Nothing is ever isolated, and the past proves the possibilities. And I know what to look for in a wave. Cookies continue. I’d like to better understand things like negative ions. I’m not sure where outside my home I’d ever wear these haltertops, though summer at home will likely see them plenty. I finally have an indoor thermometer, so I can check my feels against my actuals. I consider my nose a gift from my mother, because it mattered to her. I’m still very good at scowling and glaring, and I’m also very good at smiling. I’m getting better at going to bed and perhaps less good at staying in it; that latter could be the lack of sleep mask. My favorite shows include the Good Place, Doctor Who, Killjoys, and Elementary. I miss Smash and Battlestar Galactica. I’m considering interrupting Oathbringer to simultaneously read Iron Gold. I remain very happy with my hair cut — continued thank you to Jhonny at Cahra at Rio — it’s the professional and very proper version of the style I cut myself years back. Chocolate bunny grahams remain a favorite, as does tuna with chopsticks. [Blue] painter’s tape remains a very useful thing. Currently I’m feeling Good Fortune’s wonton noodle soup. Very very good news gained. Anticipationspren happily abound.
Back within the Stormlight Archive and dancing with storms and words and wonders and humanity. And epic Doctor Who is simply lovely. And Mom’s key lime pie means many sweet things to me. My family. Christmas. 2017. Noticing much, noticing how much I’ve not noticed. Cold cold outside today, and continues.. Much gratitude for the basics and the luxury. So much to celebrate. Not an island. Not a coconut. The joy of halite. The pronunciation of dour.