I like that my friends care/feel about this election.
few things disturb me more than apathy.
the gist of thoughts of my friends and I at this point range from
“let’s secede from the South” to “Nihon ni ikimasu!”
and “fuck Texas”
and “last night I almost cried” and “I’m near tears”
and “Americans are stupid”
..on the last, I figure about 80% of them are stupid, and half of those just happened to get their votes right.
of the 20% who are not stupid, probably half of those didn’t vote.
oh. that puts most of them in the ‘stupid’ category.
so 90% of Americans are stupid.
what other explanation/exucse is there for reelecting Bush?!
xyz: And I’m going to make a t-shirt that says “I went to the polls, and all I got was this lousy President” on it.
ugh. i’m tired. ‘want to stay up to hear election results but
a) that’s not gonna be done/decisive for who knows how long
b) i’ve been tired for a week. and my eyes have been tired of computer and television screens for this same past week…
so i’m going to get into bed and let my phone feed me results for however long he stays up.
and i’m wearing my ‘every vote counts’ sticker until this thing is over.
and if it goes badly i’m leaving the country.
i want it to go the right way.
i think it can.
i hope it will.
g’night.
you see? i said goodnight.
Today was spent mostly in Pennsylvania, helping America Votes 
(an organization I’d not previously known of) canvas select neighborhood streets to remind people to vote this day. I went out there with my father and mother. This is our first time (I don’t think my Dad’s done this before) participating as such… We voted at our local polling station near home before driving out to Penn this morning.
Obviously, the AV people had done their homework way ahead of time, and sends its volunteers to neighborhoods that are very politically friendly but have traditionally have a very low voter-turnout rate. Few people were home/came to their doors while we were there, but the few who did were mostly pretty friendly and receptive…(there was one really shady guy though… and he apparently wasn’t even registered so he’s extra blah…)
But I loved the neighborhood we were in. Bush signs were few, Kerry signs were many. I had never ever considered myself to be a partisan…but the fact is that this year, Bush signs make me grumpy, and Kerry signs make me happy. It’s simple truth.
You know who’s really really good at this canvassing thing? my mother. She started the day terribly hyper and on full-steam-power-charge.. and she was even starting to worry me a bit… but fact is that she is very good at approaching people and getting her message across and being charming and active and moving through everything like a cheery choo-choo train.
Here’s just hoping the election goes the way it has to!
Today was a thoroughly beautiful day. Daylight savings time brought the sun up bright and early.. I had a beautiful night, a beautiful lazy morning… sashimi.. worthwhile conversation.. driving.. a walk in a park.. beautiful colors in the trees..
To wind it all down, ‘carved jackolanterns at home with my family… another good Daddy-cooked dinner.. no one came to get candy from my house, cuz our driveway is so scary and formidable—but that means lots of chocolate left for us.
Today wasn’t cold like most Halloweens are, either.. It was.. simply beautiful.
And i’m going to bed before tomorrow, this time.
A new week, a new leaf—whatever color it may turn.
..begin with a clear view of green.. and a new scene may paint from this beautiful halloween.
Well, that’s it. As far as I can tell, the navigation and layout and various cogs are each moving the way they should be… So…a little bit nervously…I hereby dub this site “Alicson’s homepage” and open the doors to visitors.
Welcome, and I hope you enjoy your visit.
It’s about time that this site is looking and working most of the way it’s supposed to…
and
...it’s about time that I go to bed.
I’m going to have a sleep hangover. Sucky. But actually feeling pretty good about this whole ferrydust site thing…
Next (tomorrow): change output of articles in Words section be by excerpt, and have only individual articles show the full texts.
also, start bringing over every single piece from the old cytizen/aim site so that it’s all in one good place…finally!
And then… Alicson will finally have her own homepage!
IT’S ABOUT TIME!
well. the whole assembly seems to actually be…assembling. far from ready, but much closer to actuality than had seemed actually possible beyond conception.
the fish seem well.
it is way way way way past my bedtime now… i want to get back on this site-building tomorrow; i want to see the light at the end and i want out of the tunnel and remember what that feels like. sleep first. victories later.
re: tread’s xanga entry
!
fine! ..but they really are pretty fish.
wait, i get to talk about them just a little bit first…
okay, i brought Twain in the big bowl up to my room today… seems he’s begun a little bit of a bubblenest too. :)
and Abra had been in the smallest bowl and it seemed to me that a) he’s slightly larger than Rhine, so maybe they should switch homes, and b) Abra’s current bowl was the dirties of the three so it was time for water-changing and cleaning. so i did both of those. Abra now seems tens more active and swimmy, and Rhine is up and about much too.
okay okay. that’s that on the fish.
i did finish Children of the Mind. maybe i should get back to Catcher in the Rye. maybe.
watched most of the season premiere of West Wing today. but i came in late, so a sukosh confus-ed. and i didn’t watch the second half of last season… twas depressing. used to be so good and on track. now it seems in every episode people are on their deathbeds or being blown up or losing their temper… it’s all so volatile.. which makes some sense for some of it.. but it all seems extra drama-fied. still educational tho, i guess. so many things to watch on Wednesdays!
ok, re: other things…
<deleted text>
i’m distracted now. well.. i dunno. thoughts are there but not stuff i want to write out here. that’s really the thing about this whole thing. but hey i can talk about the fish cuz… well.. i don’t think they’ll mind.
but if talking about family, or… people or my personal endeavors and random and focused thoughts…
in theory i love the idea of online journaling. really. really really.
but then there’s everything that really can’t be told the world over, or at least can’t be heard by certains..
doesn’t mean the whole thing stops.
after all, this recurring theme maybe be old and boring but it’s text and it’s in my space so no badness.
and always else.
listening to: Sun Yan Zi singing That I Would Be Good:
“that I would be good even if I did nothing
that I would be good even if I got thumbs down
that I would be good if I got and stayed sick
that I would be good even if I gained ten pounds
that I would be fine even if I went bankrupt
that I would be good if I lost my hair and my youth
that I would be great if I was no longer queen
that I would be grand if I was not all-knowing
that I would be loved even when I numb myself
that I would be good even when I am overwhelmed
that I would be loved even when I was fuming
that I would be good even if I was clingy
that I would be good even if I lost sanity
that I would be good
whether with or without you”
***
the Betta Splendens (Siamese Fighting Fish): Twain came home with Lor and I on Saturday. yesterday (Monday) we brought home Rhine and Abra. They were all named yesterday evening.
All veiltails.. each from a different store. Twain is a fairly solid red, from Congressional Aquraium on Rockville Pike.. he’s the clearest of the three. Rhine is a messy/mottled turqoise-fined with red/magenta edges and a marbled body.. Abra is a little larger and fuller with a dark body and red fins that abruptly change to a dark cornflower blue.
i really would like to dive into raising them and breeding them and collecting them.. but i have not the space and resoures for it right now. meanwhile, i think i’ve found a way to keep Rhine and Abra warm, but Twain is downstairs in a larger bowl and i don’t know how i may keep him warm.
I once had an other betta, whom i believe i’d named Orchid (though i think that may have been only part of his name..)... he was the richest darkest deepest most vibrant blues that i have seen..very dark royal blues. i wish i had a photo. he did well for very long.. partly by himself, and at length in a community tank with guppies and other randomness where he hovered by the heater. i have never seen another live betta as obviously beautiful and rich as he was.
the sudden introduction of Twain, Rhine, and Abra is the result of Lorense suddenly thoroughly cleaning out his fish tank that has been in his room for so many months (once upon a time, it was in mine..and before that, it belonged to Yan).. and wanting to add more fish. surviving all these months were two female fancytail guppies, two sharp-looking fish that i thoroughly despise but that lorense particularly loves—i’ve been dismayed they’ve outlived everything and i’m convinced they’re responsible for some unpeace in the tank, a rather aggressive zebra danio—i think he’s male, a chinese algae eater, and… i think that’s it. so, now has been added a pleco (algae eater), a little frog, a female(?) zebra danio, and two male fancytail guppies.
lorense tends the tank and i fret about the bettas. how am i to keep Twain warm??
oh. one of the guppies had a ripped tail when i saw it yesterday, and i don’t recall that being the case when he arrived. lorense and i are blaming the male danio, and he is being isolated in a floating container in the tank in the meanwhile. he really is the hyperest/chasingest fish in there. regarding warming Twain, i may just see how he does in the community tank, or at least in a floating compartment. at least the heater in that tank is still doing well.
that’s my ramble on the fish for now. i’d get into it with more useful/learned information, but now is not the time. when will it all be?
i’m almost finished reading Children of the Mind—rather pleased that it’s been drawn out this long, as i know i will regret it being the last in the series when i am done. i’ll have to wait another five years to forget it enough to read it again!
I really wanted to write a bit last night, but i couldn’t get the password and i to agree with each other. ay. well, better late than never, ish. So Alberto wrote a nice bit about how free i am now and the excellence and happiness and relaxation of that. first of all, i don’t really know how to be really carefree. tried it once in college. can’t recall it before and can’t recall it afterward. and that particular stint ended badly, of course. that’s a bit beside the point tho. right now? i can’t feel carefree. i can’t feel really free, either. i’m not in a bad place or a bad time, and i’m not any place i really don’t want to be nor doing anything i really don’t want to be doing… but i’m also not really where i want to be or doing what i really want to be doing. and what is that? well… offhandedly, the answer is that’s largely what this time is for…for me to figure that out a bit.. the not quite so offhanded answer is that .. i imagine i do have an idea of when i’ll feel freeish or comfortable or all those imaginedly satisfactory feelings that i’m obviously gearing to be on track toward…
look, there’s stuff hanging over my head and there’s stuff hanging around me and until i can really come to arms and lay it all down or lay it all dead, i won’t ever really feel moved on. i’ll get to it, and it’ll be good… i’ve just been really slow about it.
weather’s been really nice these last few days. it’s been good to have mom home.. it will be nice to go for a walk with my dad… mom’s been asking me just about every day whether or not this is the day i’m going to go “put my name” in places for a new job. … no. it’s not. i fully don’t intend to even begin thinking about a new job in any really near/foreseeable sunrise. if something worthwhile finds me, that’s one thing… but as of now i am very much NOT in the market for a new job. my old job really wasn’t bad. i didn’t leave it for the sake of getting a new job. i left my job for the sake of leaving my job. pretty much.
and about me taking up the guitar … i remember trying that once i got to Antioch… it was very very happiness but it required a single dorm room in which a bed took up nearly all the space and i could do everything from it: chatting online, watching downloaded movies, eating snacks, opening up websites with java-tuners from which to tune the guitar, and of course pulling the guitar up onto my lap, amidst blankets and pillows, and doing my best with it. i really liked my guitar.and playing it was really quite nice—the experience..not the sounds coming from my guitar. but, i rap. isn’t that enough for you?
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